I watched this show on Sunday: Oprah’s Big Give.  The very concept of the show made me uncomfortable: An Amazing Race reality show where contestants compete by seeing who can give away the most stuff to poor, miserable, and disabled individuals in need. It is a bizarre meshing of Oprah’s “My Favorite Things,” “Extreme Makeover Home Edition,” and “The Grapes of Wrath.”
Good Samaritan:  “Mr. CEO, I want to thank you so much for your generous donation. This money will go a long way for opening a school for homeless children who lisp, and for hiring the finest in speech pathologists.”
CEO: “Hold on, hold on. Let’s wait until the cameraman shows up.”
Good Samaritan:Â “What cameraman?”
CEO: “Isn’t this donation for Oprah’s Big Give? Aren’t you a contestant on the show?”
Good Samaritan:Â “No, I told you on the phone I wanted to ask you for a donation for a school for homeless children who lisp.”
CEO:Â “You’re doing this on your own?”
Good Samaritan:Â “When I was younger, I lisped, and well, kids laughed…”
CEO:Â Â Â “You mean you just called up and I let you in — and you have nothing to do with Oprah?”
Good Samaritan:Â “Well, I saw how generous you were on her show last night and –“Â
CEO: “Get the f**k out of here! I don’t just let anyone walk into my office. I thought this was another donation for Oprah’s show. I thought this was going to be on TV.”
Good Samaritan: “Oh, I’m sorry. But what about the donation?”
CEO: “Give me that check back. You’re an idiot. Why are you collecting money for charity for NOTHING when you can be doing it on Oprah’s show and winning a million dollars!”
Good Samaritan:Â “A million dollars!?”
CEO:Â “My father always said, “Charity begins at home.””
Good Samaritan: “Hell, yeah. Can I borrow your computer for a second. Let me sign on at Oprah.com. I’ll come back here next time with Oprah’s camera crew.”
CEO:Â “Now we’re talking charity!”
