Sometimes I get so very sad because my English ain’t the best
Whenever we studied grammar in school, I always flunked the test

But today I made some progress with “nauseous and nauseated,”
For the rest of the day, I was goofing off — I felt so damn elated.

So, listen to the following and tell me how you feel.
And send me your good wishes to yahoo@dot.neil

I was sitting in a Starbucks, just doing my morning shtick
When outside, I see a homeless guy standing with his dick

Now, when I see a homeless guy who I think just masturbated,
Am I wrong to sit in Starbucks feeling all NAUSEATED?

According to Sophia, my grammar is atrocious,
But now I’ve learned, without a doubt — that guy was very NAUSEOUS.

So, hah-hah-hah — you see it? — I finally got it right!
Nauseous and Nauseated  — my ego’s taking flight.

I hope to use my brand new skills to talk to a new neighbor,
This amazing chick from UCLA, Professor Dina Haber.

So, speaking proper English is clearly my new aim,
I’m hoping I’ll get laid by this gorgeous classy dame.