Help! Today is Thanksgiving! That means, that Sophia and I are going over to Beth and Roger’s home for dinner. They are lovely people and I’m sure everything will be terrific. It’s just that their family is so… not Jewish.
I hate to bring this up, but you know that scene in Annie Hall when Annie Hall’s family looks at Woody Allen like he is a Hasid. It’s not the ham that bothers me. They also serve turkey. I’ve gotten used to all the pumpkin-colored sweaters that everyone wears. I can even deal with everyone holding hands before the meal and thanking Jesus, our Savior. And it’s not even the drunken woman who actually asked me last year “Can Jews can have sex during Hanukkah?”
For me, the big problem is… the football.
After the Thanksgiving meal, the women hang out in the kitchen while the men go into the living room to watch sports. Bleh! Call me a metrosexual if you want, but from my point of view, shouldn’t men WANT to hang around with the gender that smells good and has tits?
Last year, Sophia pushed me into the living room, hoping I’d do some male bonding. I did get one good laugh out of the guys, when I mistakenly called NASCAR as NASDAQ.
This year, I want to be prepared for the inevitable male-bonding:
Who is playing in the big game today and what are the names of the top players of each team? Women are not the only ones who know how to fake things.
P.S. — If you haven’t had a chance to “Thank Your First Commenter,” feel free to do so today!