I didn’t read many blogs when I started Citizen of the Month in March, 2005. Â My initial model for my blog was the late Andy Rooney of “60 Minutes.” Â Every day I would write a short post based on some personal off-kilter observation such as, “Why do we still lick envelopes in the 20th Century?” Â It’s a tried and true comedic technique.
Seven years ago this week, my father died. Â I was blogging for a little over a year. Â Sophia, my wife at the time, sent a message to my blog readers that I was called back to New York. Â There was no Twitter or Facebook at the time, so I used my blog as my diary, writing about my emotional state at the time, detailing all the chaos, the sadness, and even the frequent bittersweet humor of dealing with a parent’s death.
My father’s passing completely transformed my view of blogging. Â Writing a personal blog was not the same as writing a short story or a magazine article. Â It certainly was not like Andy Rooney doing his shtick on “60 Minutes.” Â For one thing, blogs had comments, and the feedback from others were frequently more interesting than the original post. Â Readers also CARED about me in a way that I never cared about Andy Rooney. Â And I CARED about my readers. Â Blogging was something revolutionary — a hybrid of writing, community forum, therapy, and friendship.
Life continued on, as did my blog. Â My writing changed in tone to reflect my experiences. Â Â Sophia dealt with breast cancer. Â Sophia’s mother passed away. Â Sophia’s step-father passed away. Â Sophia and I divorced. Â I moved back and forth between Los Angeles and New York. Â I flew to New Zealand to meet a new woman. Â Life.
I glanced over at my last few posts. Â One was a mediation on happiness. Â Another was a photo essay. Â The third was a conversation with my cock. Â I turned to the Flashy Buick ad and… I started to cry. Â It wasn’t an unhappy cry. Â It wasn’t a happy cry. Â It was just an emotional release, of what I can’t tell you.
Placing this advertisement on my blog is a very big deal to me. Â It scares me, but it also gives me a slight thrill, like I’m losing my virginity to a prostitute or going bungee jumping. Â Will I keep the advertisement on my sidebar? Â It depends on how much money I can earn by keeping it there. Â If we are talking less than ten bucks a month, it’s not worth it.
I know my eight year obsession over putting advertising on my blog is crazy, and has annoyed the shit out of some of you. Â I realize that most of you couldn’t care less what I do. Â But I’m pretentious. Â It’s one little secret that I try to keep to myself. Â My blog is powerful… to me. Â It is a reflection of my life, my manhood, my attitudes towards money and ambition, and an expression of sex and desire. Â My blog is also about my father, the kind man who died seven years ago this week. Â Â And my father would never put advertising on his blog. Â So, it’s a big change.