Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

The Evolution of Friendship on Social Media

Dick:  Hey, Jane, what’s up?  I had a tuna sandwich for lunch.  What did you have?

Jane:  I had a yogurt.

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Dick:  Hey, Jane, what’s up?  Did you see what Tom is doing?  All he does is put up links to his own blog posts!  How crude.

Jane:  I know!   What a self-absorbed loser.

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Dick:  Hey, Jane, what’s up?  Did you see that Tom has hired six ghostwriters to put up links all day to his own blog posts, and now he has a million followers?!

Jane:  That’s crazy.  Most people are just sheep who can’t think for themselves.

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Dick:  Hey, Jane, what’s up?  Did you learn anything from Tom at that seminar on social media?

Jane:  Read my post.

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Dick:  Hey, Jane, what’s up?

Jane:  Read my post.  And buy Tom’s new book on social media.  And vote for me as one of the top ten most interesting conversationalists online.

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Dick:  Hey, Jane, what’s up?

Jane:  [YOU HAVE BEEN UNFOLLOWED]

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Dick:  Read my post.  Buy Tom’s book.

Jane:  [STILL UNFOLLOWED]

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Dick:  Everyone, you MUST READ Jane’s brilliant new earth-shattering blog post right now!

Jane:  Thanks, dude!  RT @Dick “Everyone, you MUST READ Jane’s brilliant new earth-shattering blog post right now!”

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Dick:  Read my postRead Jane’s postBuy Tom’s book.

Jane:  Read my postRead Dick’s postBuy Tom’s book.

47 Comments

  1. Feeling a tad cynical today, eh? Maybe you just don’t make the right Twitter friends?

  2. Pure brilliance. But it makes me want to unfriend and unfollow everyone I know while I systematically murder all social media acolytes.

  3. With friends like that, who needs… oh, yeah.

  4. Neil, that’s the funniest thing, and most accurate thing, I’ve read in days. Cynical but it covers a swathe of interaction. Whether online or social climbers at the water cooler, or people who network at parties, pitch after pitcher, the picture is the same. Point missed when people are taking standing on the shoulders of others in the unintended meaning of the phrase.

  5. I love this post.
    I often feel this is what part of the community has become and it sickens me. Frankly the last few months I have found myself reading less of the “popular” mommy bloggers because of it. Also their content – not so good anymore, not so “real” anymore. It is all about branding and selling an image. And frankly some of the act like plain ole assholes if you aren’t kissing theirs.

  6. Kim… eh, you probably shouldn’t take it too seriously. I do all the things on Twitter and Facebook that I just made fun of…. it is how things work nowadays. I get more readers from Twitter than Google Reader and Facebook combined! So, I’m no saint.

    At least if we realize what we do and laugh at it, we are less apt to get pissed about it, and maybe try to keep things as human as possible. This made me chuckle more than anything else.

  7. I wondered what all my friends thought of me when I posted links to my blog every single time I wrote something.

  8. Hey Neil, what’s up? Check out my awesome new blog post!

  9. I had left over macaroni for lunch. that’s more my speed, but there sure are a lot of those movers and shakers.

  10. That is depressing and hilarious at the same time.

  11. “I had yogurt.”

    I am going to try to work this into Twitter at least once a day.

  12. what’s twitter?

  13. This is pretty right on. But with you and me, there’s still the chance we might talk about boobs.

  14. The irony is I want to share this piece of brilliance all over FB and Twitter and Stumble it too. Sadly, I don’t have enough friends/followers/readers to have much of an impact. *sigh* and *sigh* again.

  15. Internet troll says: “WHY U NO BE NICE TO THE TWITS?!”

    Ha. Sorry, I’ve been spending way too much time on the Cheezburgr network and stuff.

    Very sharp post, and you are right: we have to be able to make fun of it, even if we do it.

  16. And in more irony, it hasn’t refreshed my auto-feed. heh. Touche, Interwebs!

  17. It’s funny because it’s true.

  18. hilarious! well done.

  19. you forgot the friend who never acknowledges you in public, only in DM

    • Yes yes yes! I call those “Booty Calls” like they are ashamed of being caught having a conversation with me!

  20. Interesting look at Dick and Jane in the “internet” age. I especially liked the “unfollowed” comment… This reminded me too much like reality TV.

  21. Oh great. You caught me. THE only reason why I come and read and comment is just so your readers will come visit my blog. ZOINKS!

    ^_^

  22. I love this very much. I just wrote a post on my blog about it. Please Stumble it.

  23. 🙂 word.
    You make me smile, neil

  24. Really, really, seriously funny.

  25. Not sure why I like your post but I do. I just defriended a whole bunch of “friends” on facebook because very recently I saw all these people at a community event and not one of them looked my way to even acknowledge my being at the event just mere inches from them. Then several tried to refriend me. WTF??? If you and I lived in the same area and were pals on fb… I’d for sure at least say hi to your face 🙂 …. but you don’t live anywhere NEAR the Dakota Territory and only a few times have I been to your fair city. Carry on….

  26. Yet again you amuse me.

  27. Wow! That’s hardcore social media aka extreme navel-gazing. Thank you t’internet for turning the world into a big global village. Only glitch is… even the village idiot is now online.

  28. Haha, thanks I needed a good chuckle.

  29. I hate that you used my name for this post but have to agree with you, anyway.

    I remember when I was starting my road trip and tried to ask a simple question or two about sponsorships to the “popular” bloggers whose sites I often visited. They either didn’t answer me at all or acted like I was trying to steal their child–which was odd to me because they were all nicey-nice when I just a bottom-of-the-heap “fan”.

    I got the sponsorships without their help or guidance, but I’ve never forgotten what jerks they were and I have unfollowed most of the them for the same reason I don’t follow celebrities: I like my social media to be social and my communication to be reciprocal. Maybe I’ll change my mind if I ever become Neil Gaiman, but until then I talk to people who talk to me, and support those who are genuine.

  30. This is why I quit Twitter. You pretty much nailed it.

  31. I love what Jane said.

    And your post, what I see, in a nutshell.

  32. Totally brilliant, totally true.

    Gotta go unfriend some people now. Totally an accident if is anyone reading this….

  33. I want to leave a comment about how funny this post is but I really need a nap and a cup of coffee. And chocolate.

  34. I am so late to this party… all the funny comments have been taken. (Damn you, Marinka!) Oh, well, here I am sweeping up the crumbs.

    But seriously. You are so completely spot on in your skewering (ouch). Love you.

    But have you read my blog post about…….

  35. @Brilliantly clever. @Love it!

  36. I’ve just come back from a blogger’s conference. I got the impression that your content doesn’t matter. But who shares your content, and how often, does.

    Pretty soon, there will be no content in the media, just the names of people. That’s pretty much what Hollywood journalism is, nowadays. A celebrity sighted at McDonalds gets more space than a middling-well-known artist who has something to say.

    You nailed that in this post.

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