Comments on: Fight or Flight?

By: Neil

Neil — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 01:57:15 +0000

I think times have changed for the better, and in the 70s and 80s, there wasn’t as much attention paid to bullying. It was something that just always happened in school, and unless something really serious happened, you usually didn’t tell anyone — the parents or the teachers, because the consequences would just be worse for you. I think it is good that people are more open to talking about this stuff nowadays.

By: Megan

Megan — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 00:48:05 +0000

I’ve been dealing with my 10 year old son being bullied all year. He got beat up by a couple of girls after school earlier this year. He used a minimum of force – just enough to get them off of him, so he could get away and then told me about it. I went into the school the next day and got both girls suspended. It was a no win situation for my son. If he had really fought back, if he had been seen as hitting those girls, he would have been suspended regardless of who started it. He felt horrible about it because he felt like he got beat up by girls. It took both his father and his martial arts master explaining it was a no-win situation to him and that he did the right thing despite the non-Hollywood ending to make him feel OK about it.

In your situation, if you were my kid and I knew about it, if there were weapons involved, I’d be waiting by that court with a bunch of cops. A bunch of bigger kids with a knife is a no win situation with a potentially very bad ending – fighting when you can’t win isn’t brave, it’s stupid.

By: Loukia

Loukia — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 14:18:34 +0000

I was beat up a few times in grade 7 by this bully of a girl, Melva. It was just awful. But once she was confronted by the principle and a cop – she wanted to become my friend. I was just happy I didn’t have to have my head slammed in the locker anymore!
Now, as a mom of two boys – my big worry is what will happen to my boys when they’re in school full-time, if they encounter this type of ‘bullying’ behaviour from other older kids. I’m pretty sure my 2 year old would take on (and kick ass!) any child who dares lay a finger on him – he’s got no fear. My oldest son, though, my thinker, he likes to avoid conflict at all costs. I DO know if anyone hurts my child I WILL go talk to that child. Maybe that is not right… but I will SO go to their school the next day and tell whoever hurt my child to NEVER do that again. And maybe a call to their parents. And I don’t care if I’m not doing the right thing, like ‘let them figure it out themselves…’ I just… want to help and protect them forever. Sometimes parents should get involved. But I get it, like what if they are in high school… man… I just don’t know… If I could put my kids in a bubble ball, I probably would!

By: sarah

sarah — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 02:50:11 +0000

exactly what Juli Ryan said. The hardest part of being a parent is letting them decide for themselves. But the thought of it makes my heart ache, either way.

By: amanda

amanda — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 01:34:28 +0000

Shit, knee-jerk honesty—tell him to get the hell off the court. It’s why I tell my husband to can it when he gets pissed on the road. Times have changed and bad decisions are all too often final rather than just regrettable.
Cowardly? Maybe, but alive, right?

By: Bon

Bon — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 22:51:54 +0000

i know plenty about bullies but not about fighting, so i’ve never figured it out.

maybe the point you make about respect is the best i got: i’d tell him to do what he needs to respect himself.

cause i’m sure a 4 yr old’s gonna grasp that. oy.

By: ca

ca — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 00:24:52 +0000

run baby run.

By: anymommy

anymommy — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 03:49:12 +0000

I have no idea. I’d probably be furious and ineffective. That’s most likely why my parents knew little about my school life. So, now are you going to write the next post? About how it did shape you?

By: The Mom(aka Amy)

The Mom(aka Amy) — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 23:17:41 +0000

I think when weapons are involved things are a little beyond bullying.

If someone is “just” verbally harrassing you it is prudent to stand your ground, but when they pull out a weapon then duck and cover.

By: tony

tony — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:57:23 +0000

wow tough neighborhood…spit your gum on the court and run like hell.