Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Morning, December 1st

Last night, I had a little trouble falling asleep because I was laughing to myself so much over my last post. I know it probably wasn’t that funny to you, but the absurdity of the premise struck a nerve in me, and I could not stop giggling. That was a post I might have written as a twelve year old, if I had my adult brain.

At 5AM, I walked my mother down to her cab. She is going to the airport, en route to Florida for the winter. Even though the flight is not until 7:30AM. This is the craziness I have dealt with my entire life. Always show up two hours EARLY — just in case.

The house is now quiet. Sophia and I have NOT been getting along in our phone conversations. I feel mildly depressed. But also excited about new possibilities. But also worried, which probably doesn’t surprise you. While it is great to have my own space, events are forcing me back into reality, having to ponder my life again, rather than avoiding it.

20 Comments

  1. Face it all head on and make the decisions you’ve been avoiding. You’ll feel a lot better afterwards. I promise.

  2. This will be good, this time. I know it.

  3. Wishing you productive pondering, wise choices and decisive actions.

  4. Excited, worried, mildly depressed… I’m on a different street, but in the same neighborhood. I’ll send you good luck as you ponder. Avoidance rarely yields results when it comes to life.

  5. Nonavoidance is always the best choice. Don’t want to wake up with an unexamined life that has flown past you. “Keep on keepin’ on” or some other such bullshit. 🙂

  6. “This is my depressed stance. When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you’ll start to feel better. If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve got to stand like this.” – Charlie Brown, Cartoon Character by Charles Schulz 1922-2000

  7. I’ll tell you what: You come live in my house with my family for the winter and I’ll go live in Queens. Alone. It’ll be great.

    For me.

  8. Avoidance is my technique too. It doesn’t really work so well. Nope, not really.

  9. For what it’s worth I like getting the airport 2 hours early. Once you’re passed the security gates you’ve got no place to go but up and nothing to do but shop.

  10. I think giggling is a good sign. Take it a moment at a time and you will be okay. xoxo

  11. So this means you have your mom’s apt all to yourself!! Time to leave the toilet seat up and bust out the girlie magazines.

  12. I love it that you kept yourself up with the giggling.

  13. happy new year, eh.
    you’ll laugh when I tell you now that I just tried to record the holiday singing thing for you…I think I might wait til my cold is through. I sound like a walrus.

  14. I happened to think your last two posts were hilarious! Call me. We can laugh and cry together.

  15. when is the Hanukkah party? 🙂

  16. Everyone seems to be having marital or relationship problems. I guess they never go away no matter how happy you think you are. There’s always the appearance and the reality of things.

  17. I really love that you seem so close to your mom and that you’ll truly feel her absence. I’m thinking it’s a good thing that you’ll be able to counterbalance any contemplation you have to do with all sorts of bloggy gatherings. Note I said balance, not avoid. Good luck!

  18. Sometimes, reality really sucks. If you could go ahead and ponder my life while you’re at it, so I can get it off my mind, I would really appreciate it.

  19. I know you are going to come out of this on top.

  20. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Change is good.

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