Married with Dyson

This post I am writing right now might seem like I am poking fun of mommyblogger promotions and giveaways, but that is not the case.  The following is more about me and my marriage, and what to expect from a wife:

Momdot.com has started an interesting promotion titled Dyson Domestic Divas.

Every 2 weeks from now till April, we are going to be picking a new mom to spend a full two weeks with our Dyson and then come on as a Dyson Domestic Diva and give everyone the lowdown on it. Comparing it to your current household cleaning, your vacuum that you use on a daily basis, the all around ins and outs of how you feel about the Dyson after spending 2 weeks with it in your home. You will be able to blog during your experience from set up to the day it leaves, posting pictures, videos and sharing your experience with the world.

dyson2

The Dyson is an excellent vacuum.  I have one myself.  If I were a Mom, I would love to try-out this new model, the DC 25 Rollerball Animal.

Each Mom who gets picked after sign-up gets to keep the vacuum for two weeks before they have to return it to the company.

Just imagine how clean your house will be and how convinced your husband will be to let you get one after you have proven to him how great it is!

This last sentence made me think about my own marriage, and the roles we played in the home. Were Sophia and I out of step with current reality?  Do wives still need to convince their husbands before buying a vacuum cleaner?  Did I get a raw deal with Sophia?  She is the type of woman who would never ask me before buying a new vacuum cleaner!

She might say, “Neil, I want to buy a new vacuum cleaner.”

I might answer, “Why do we need a new vacuum cleaner.”

And she might reply, “Because the old one stinks.”

What am I talking about?  Sophia never used the vacuum or asked for a vacuum cleaner.  I did all the vacuuming in the house.  I was the one who bought the Dyson for our home!  Am I the only husband in the country to do the vacuuming in the house?  Not only did I do the vacuuming in the house, I had to SHOW Sophia how to used our year-old Dyson before I came to New York because she never used it before!  Was I tricked by Sophia into thinking that a husband should do anything useful in the house, like vacuuming or doing the dishes?  How did I get suckered into that?

If I ever get remarried, I’m going to be looking for a different type of wife — one who ASKS me before she buys a new vacuum cleaner?  A woman who enjoys vacuuming so much, that she will give me oral sex after she finishes cleaning the house in appreciation for my staying out of her territory.  That would be cool, and make me feel manly.

And if she did ask for a new vacuum cleaner, I would tell her that I need that money for my Maxim magazines.

“No! You cannot buy a new vacuum cleaner.  Back into the kitchen, woman.  And put on that French maid’s uniform!”

“Maybe we can get a cleaning woman?” she might ask, a little in awe of my Maleness.

“A cleaning woman?  What for!  That’s what you are here for.  And I like watching your ass move when you dust!”

“Oh honey, you are such a rascal.”

I learned three important lessons this post about Domestic Divas that I need to remember if I ever get re-married:

1)  A wife must ask her husband for permission before buying any household product.

2)  Wives love to clean the house, especially with innovative appliances.

3)  Men have no interest in household cleaning, or are they even expected to contribute and help.

Sophia apparently never read the rules.   If I ever remarry, my next wife will be a Dyson Domestic Diva.

This entry was posted in Advertising and Marketing, Life with Sophia, Products and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

82 Responses to Married with Dyson

  1. sassy says:

    I ‘let’ my husband buy a karsher vacuum, and ‘let’ him do the floors. I’m a nice wifey, eh?

  2. NYCWD says:

    I find it ironic that almost everyone is down on Dyson instead of Momdot.com for running the actual promotion with that language.

    Now if it was Motrin instead of Momdot.com, I bet the reactions would be vastly different. Oh the camouflage those corporate mongers are using now!!!

  3. ali says:

    what’s a vacuum?

    ;)

  4. churlita says:

    Was that Dyson promotion for real? Do they remember what year this is?

  5. Avitable says:

    Are the moms who are eagerly piling over themselves to ask for a two-week trial of a vacuum cleaner so they can demonstrate their worthiness to their husbands the same ones who were morally outraged by the Motrin Ad? Maybe Motrin should just have given away free products.

  6. anna says:

    Wow, what a lame “promotion.” You can do housework, then do the work of blogging about it, and then in return you get . . . NOTHING.

    I would say you have to ask/tell if you are buying a Dyson vacuum cleaner. Anything over $300 or so I think is a “family decision” in my house.

  7. Cathy says:

    My husband is also an engineer and he is the money earner in the house. He also helps with the cleaning and meal making. I do not have to ask him when I go out and buy things but I do out of respect for him especially when the item costs above 250 dollars.

  8. 180/360 says:

    You’re such a rascal, Neil! This just epitomizes how ridiculous product promotion in blogging has become. Who in their right mind would want to use a vacuum that has been in various homes across the country?

  9. Bahahaha!

    My favorite part was when you wrote, “Maleness.”

    Ah, Maleness.

  10. I pulled out the vacuum and the 14mo started crying because it scared her. She’d never seen it before. ’nuff said?

    Now a man vacuuming? That’s sexy. Not as sexy as one who folds laundry and cooks orders pizza, but sexy nonetheless.

  11. jessica says:

    I perdonally think the Dyson promotion is sick. Just the siomple fact that dyson would stoop so low to be on this mom dot site. She posts pictures of her butt and sings naked. Clearly dyson has not seen this but I have emailed them and so have others. Sorry dyson tacky choice in mom bloggers I will never see dyson the same again.

  12. jessica says:

    And Kimberly this is the same Trisha of mom dot who said pregnant woman can’t go on trips where theree owuld be drinking. You’re telling me this nut case isn’t controlling you active members, You’re just as nuts as she is.

    PR reps have been contacted Dyson should pull the mom dot stuff. Sorry it’s just tacky she should consider what she posts on that site befrore she tries to work with such a great company. Dyson you’ve made me sick!

  13. Neil says:

    Whoa… whoa… Jessica… what’s going on? This post is supposed to be about ME!

  14. Kristin says:

    “Wow, what a lame “promotion.” You can do housework, then do the work of blogging about it, and then in return you get . . . NOTHING.”

    As a blogger like this myself that’s what I thought.

    I second Sarcastic Mom bwahahaha

  15. Kristin says:

    Neil, Neil you crack me up!

  16. Neil, love of my bloggy life, get thee to Google and put in the phrase “Porn for Women book” and go with it. THAT’S what makes a woman hawt HOT hot!

  17. Ahh the Sophia mystery is solved. Does she have a blog?… because I think I may like her more than you ;)

    This ☝, is INSANE! I am writing a vacuum post straight away!

  18. Darryle says:

    Maybe because I’m Jewish, I don’t get the big fuss over a vacuum cleaner. My husband is not Jewish, and brought home a Dyson a few years ago. If you don’t own one, I’d be be happy to share mine. The Vacuum, not the husband.

  19. Neil says:

    ThreeBoys1Mommy — Everybody likes Sophia better than me. That was the problem.

  20. pam says:

    My husband? He does the vacuuming. And most of the dishes. Really.

  21. Toni says:

    Well I have a few things to say on the matter.

    I think the promotion is silly but that being said anyone that thinks it is silly just doesn’t have to sign up for it right.

    I just wouldn’t want to “fall in love’ with something only to have the hassle of packing it up and sending it off, that is not worth it to me.

    Heck yeah I want a dyson but I don’t want to “borrow” one personally I would much rather just go and buy one than have to deal with all the hassle involved in this.

    I do however think there is not a problem with discussing whether or not to buy one with a significan other or spouse. My spouse and I discuss pretty much all non necessities or anything over a certain amount with each other before buying just out of respect for one another and this could be the perfect solution as in a try before you buy.

    Those are my thoughts on the situation, I don’t personally like the promotion to me it would be a hassle but for those that do then it’s a great idea. It may just be the selling point for some husband or wife

  22. Nat says:

    I didn’t read all the comments, and I don’t really care what Trisha says… that is one antiquated way of looking at gender roles.

    Fun and housework. Not in my reality.

  23. My husband doesn’t vacuum, but he does do laundry AND clean toilets. I’d rather vacuum twice a day than wipe down a toilet.

    That said, I would certainly discuss a several hundred dollar purchase with my husband. He would do the same with me. In a household of limited resources, we need to be on the same page with our spending.

  24. Oh, and we already have a Dyson. I love it!

  25. Kristin says:

    I’m with Toni about the whole thing. Dyson did a poor job at overseeing how the promotion was posted on mom dot. But hey even PR peps don’t know any better. They are handing these suckers to people with NO traffic. Any blogger who makes money or does real reviews won’t be signing up for this promotion. I can see them now “doing all that work and getting nothing in return”. It’s a good pitch on mom dot’s part. Saying she wanted one for herself, why not let her bloggers who follow her work for it. As you can see Dyson jumped right on that. All in all dyson did a poor job, they lost some of my respect.

    Pertaining to hosework.. I do think in my household at least, that I would consult Del about a purchase like this. Once he used my moms he was sold on the Dyson product anyway. It’s just the simple fact of a $500 purchase. And yes he consults me about his purchases.

    And Neil everyone loves you, funny whitty and charming. Your “maleness” rocks!

  26. Whit says:

    I seriously covet that vacuum, but as I’m a WAHD and not a mom I’ll have to sit this one out.

    It actually makes Dyson sound kind of cheap. Two weeks to test it? It’s not a freaking car.

  27. Geoff says:

    I have a Dyson. I actually reviewed it for one of my technology columns in the local newspaper. And yes, I do a fair bit of vacuuming and other chores around the house. I expect this is not as rare as many of your femme readers may think. Anyway, here’s an excerpt from that review:

    “My first observation was the quiet operation. After all the hype, I was expecting it to howl like a jet engine. Then I noted how the power nozzle chewed down into the carpet like a cat into tuna fish. It moved smoothly, but had a resistance that was strangely reassuring. After about 30 seconds I glanced back at the transparent canister, which – to my total surprise – had already snared a warren of dust bunnies. By the time I finished the small rug, the canister was pretty much full.

    I haven’t been this impressed by a pile of dirt since I was three years old…”

  28. patty says:

    Wait – was I supposed to ask my husband before I bought my car?

  29. jenna says:

    I love all the comments from the people who have continuously bashed MomDot over and over again and then tried to “make up for it”. Get over yourself folks. You’ve made your intentions pretty obvious. Maybe if you would have thought of contacting Dyson first, you could have held a real giveaway.

  30. What crap. I have a Dyson, but do they really think that in two weeks the average mom used the vacuum more than once? Hell, my floors are lucky if I use my fancy, expensive Dyson more than once a year. Ok, maybe i”m not a good example here. I was once fired by my housekeepers because my house was too messy. Still. The person who lobbied for the new vacuum in our house was my husband. And why the hell do they think the woman has to ask to buy a new vacuum at all? If I waned a new vacuum instead of a few new pairs of shoes, I would have just bought one for god sake. Ok, I have to stop now, my blood pressure is up.

  31. Stacey says:

    I bought myself a Dyson after the Captain broke his vacuum cleaning up construction debris. I actually like vacuuming because it makes me happy to see the house clean (and the vacuum scares the beejesus out of the cats). The Captain really wants to vacuum too, but probably only because I won’t let him.

  32. nugo says:

    i also do the vacuuming and i also bought our dyson and i also want a cleaning woman wearing a french maid’s outfit.

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