Married with Dyson

This post I am writing right now might seem like I am poking fun of mommyblogger promotions and giveaways, but that is not the case.  The following is more about me and my marriage, and what to expect from a wife:

Momdot.com has started an interesting promotion titled Dyson Domestic Divas.

Every 2 weeks from now till April, we are going to be picking a new mom to spend a full two weeks with our Dyson and then come on as a Dyson Domestic Diva and give everyone the lowdown on it. Comparing it to your current household cleaning, your vacuum that you use on a daily basis, the all around ins and outs of how you feel about the Dyson after spending 2 weeks with it in your home. You will be able to blog during your experience from set up to the day it leaves, posting pictures, videos and sharing your experience with the world.

dyson2

The Dyson is an excellent vacuum.  I have one myself.  If I were a Mom, I would love to try-out this new model, the DC 25 Rollerball Animal.

Each Mom who gets picked after sign-up gets to keep the vacuum for two weeks before they have to return it to the company.

Just imagine how clean your house will be and how convinced your husband will be to let you get one after you have proven to him how great it is!

This last sentence made me think about my own marriage, and the roles we played in the home. Were Sophia and I out of step with current reality?  Do wives still need to convince their husbands before buying a vacuum cleaner?  Did I get a raw deal with Sophia?  She is the type of woman who would never ask me before buying a new vacuum cleaner!

She might say, “Neil, I want to buy a new vacuum cleaner.”

I might answer, “Why do we need a new vacuum cleaner.”

And she might reply, “Because the old one stinks.”

What am I talking about?  Sophia never used the vacuum or asked for a vacuum cleaner.  I did all the vacuuming in the house.  I was the one who bought the Dyson for our home!  Am I the only husband in the country to do the vacuuming in the house?  Not only did I do the vacuuming in the house, I had to SHOW Sophia how to used our year-old Dyson before I came to New York because she never used it before!  Was I tricked by Sophia into thinking that a husband should do anything useful in the house, like vacuuming or doing the dishes?  How did I get suckered into that?

If I ever get remarried, I’m going to be looking for a different type of wife — one who ASKS me before she buys a new vacuum cleaner?  A woman who enjoys vacuuming so much, that she will give me oral sex after she finishes cleaning the house in appreciation for my staying out of her territory.  That would be cool, and make me feel manly.

And if she did ask for a new vacuum cleaner, I would tell her that I need that money for my Maxim magazines.

“No! You cannot buy a new vacuum cleaner.  Back into the kitchen, woman.  And put on that French maid’s uniform!”

“Maybe we can get a cleaning woman?” she might ask, a little in awe of my Maleness.

“A cleaning woman?  What for!  That’s what you are here for.  And I like watching your ass move when you dust!”

“Oh honey, you are such a rascal.”

I learned three important lessons this post about Domestic Divas that I need to remember if I ever get re-married:

1)  A wife must ask her husband for permission before buying any household product.

2)  Wives love to clean the house, especially with innovative appliances.

3)  Men have no interest in household cleaning, or are they even expected to contribute and help.

Sophia apparently never read the rules.   If I ever remarry, my next wife will be a Dyson Domestic Diva.

This entry was posted in Advertising and Marketing, Life with Sophia, Products and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

82 Responses to Married with Dyson

  1. mammaloves says:

    There are so many things wrong here.

    1. If a vacuum cleaner was in my house for only two weeks I don’t know if I would have the chance to see how it works.

    2. Can all the women who love cleaning please call me because I have a business opportunity for them.

    3. What kind of company expects you to give them free pr for “allowing” you to use their equipment for two weeks and then send it back? Um…don’t do me any favors Dyson.

    4. Men who clean are damn sexy.

  2. foolery says:

    I couldn’t get past this phrase:

    “your vacuum that you use on a daily basis”

  3. Marie-The Snake Charmers says:

    Well, I am one of those women who would ask her husband before buying a vacuum cleaner. At least partly because I would want to see the look on his face.

    We also have a Dyson, which cost a ton of money, which why we would need to discuss it. I also have one of those husband’s who is a engineer, whereas I am most assuredly am not. So if it’s mechanical, he gets a vote.

    That said, early in our relationship, just after he acquired a key to my apartment, I came home to find him vacuuming my place.

    That’s when I knew he was a keeper.

    Fortunately, being an engineer, my husband has no use for blogs. I never want him to see this and have him get any notions that women do housework. Or perform oral sex.

    And, yeah, Dyson, too cheap to let the little lady keep the vacuum? C’mon!

  4. trisha says:

    I didnt mean it like that. I am an extremely independent woman. But i hear all day long “my husband wont let me buy a vacuum that costs $500″. Now, mine did because i went out and bought one and i didnt really ask him permission, kwim?

    And for the record, my husband is the one vaccumming in our Dyson video….not me.

    But our site cators to women (hence “mom”) therefore I am talking to “mom” (ie female) bloggers, so I auto addressed it as such that females would sign up and men would not be running to test out the vaccuum….

    Being a tester for an online product is a ton of fun and mom bloggers love doing it….I know I do. We end up getting to keep so many of the products we get to test. Its a lot better then going out and buying something and then having buyers remorse or saying, hey, wait, this sucks.

    The dyson program is just a fun way for online mom reviewers, whom already review products, to have a hand to test one product that is talked about SO much among women.

    One more thing…its not common to find a man who wants to clean. I know, because I have spent the past 5 years in charge of a ton of online woman communities and its like 1 in 100 that has a husband that cleans..and Im married to him. You are an exception, not the rule. Very unfortunately, i might add.

    trisha
    momdot.com

  5. trisha says:

    PS We are passing this vaccuum around to test its durability…we don’t mention the perks of the program because we do not want people to sign up for FREE product, but for fun. But that doesn’t mean there wont be pluses as part of working with momdot.
    :-)

  6. I didn’t ask permission from my husband when I bought our Dyson two years ago.

    I would give my husband oral sex if he would vacuum the house or could correctly answer which is the washing machine and which is the dryer, or if he folded my laundry, or if he made the kids breakfast.

    Why are there so many product give-aways and reviews going on right now anyway? Is it the holidays?

  7. Marie-The Snake Charmers says:

    I’m having a little trouble putting “fun” and “vacuuming” in the same sentence. But, it takes all kinds.

  8. veep veep says:

    I still think Dyson should give each of the women participating their own vacuum. If they don’t like it, they can give it to their mother in law. ;)

    Last year I gave away dozens of vacuums no strings attached. The women who received them wrote back and told me what they thought of the vacuum and those were some of the funniest and most honest comments ever emailed to me. So I’m sure the women participating with Dyson will have a lot to say no matter what.

  9. Memarie Lane says:

    I have to say, that promotion is such bullshit. That’s like saying, “here, eat this delicious ice cream, tell us how yummy it is, then vomit it up and give it back. Up yours Dyson!

  10. Corey says:

    I’m pretty sure I’m not in the target audience for these Dyson people. When we were preparing for the birth of our son, I was reading all those books one reads to prepare (ha) for a child, and one said that we should prepare to lower our standard of cleanliness after the baby arrived. I told my husband that if our standard of cleanliness was any lower, the DHS might come take that baby away from us.

    That said, he does the vacuuming when it absolutely must be done.

    Good luck finding your dream woman. No one I know would fit the bill.

  11. Janna says:

    Hmm… now I will have to check out this Mom Dot website. Sadly, I know a couple of ex-friends who have this kind of relationship with their husbands. I say ex-friends because their husbands don’t like me. Huh, go figure.

  12. Trish says:

    You bet I would ask my husband before I spent $500 on a vacuum! I expect him to talk to me before he buys something that expensive as well, no matter what it was. I talk to my husband about anything that is over $50.

    My husband likes to vacuum, but he doesn’t do it very often. Part of it is he works longer hours so by the time he gets home our daughter is already asleep, and if vacuumed then, it would wake her up. I just have more opportunity to do it than he does.

    I think it’s a fun program, which is why I’ve signed up for it. I love trying out new things, and would I love to keep it? Oh yeah, but if I don’t, at least other people out there can hear my honest opinion about it.

  13. sarah g says:

    eh, I would let him know only cause I’d want him to run it by me before spending a ton of money too. In order to check the budget, not to get permission or allowance. and he is just as capable of vacuuming as I am.

  14. Staci A says:

    Not all of out there have an extra hundred dollars laying around to spend on a vacuum that will break after a few uses, or not fit our needs. So, why not test one out for a couple of weeks? What would it hurt?

    I don’t have a hubby who cleans. And yes, a vacuum is at the top of my Christmas list. I’m a mom, I’m all about practicality. And as a wife, I would definitely talk to my hubby before spending $500, just as he would do the same.

    Have you seen the response at MomDot? It seems to me there are quite a few moms interested in the program. I know I would love a chance to try it out and offer up my review to other moms, who want to hear if it actually lives up to the hype.

  15. Betsey says:

    Here is how jacked up my household is. I would never buy a vacuum without asking my husband first AND we BOTH vacuum.

    We obviously need counseling.

  16. Staci A says:

    Oh, and by the way, it doesn’t get sent back to Dyson. They pay to ship it on to another mom in the review group.

  17. Nancy says:

    Maybe that’s why I made such a lousy wife. I didn’t ask permission, yet I didn’t expect my husband(s), yes “S”, to be domestic divas either.

    I thought that’s what house cleaners were hired for.

    Oral for cleaning eh? Would that include windows and toilets? Maybe I was hiring the wrong cleaning crews.

  18. No offense, but I can see why you are married to the type of woman you have. Luckily for as many types of women there are, the same goes for men. I’m eager to try the Dyson out and yes, I would ask my husband for permission to buy it, even if it was with “my” money. Why? because it’s a large purchase and in our marriage, large purchases are a joint decision no matter whose bank account it comes out of.

    Being a stay at home mom doesn’t excuse my husband from household chores either. I would say our vacuuming is split pretty equeally, just as many other chores are. But that’s our marriage and it works for us.

  19. Nancy says:

    P.S. I sure I wouldn’t want a passed around Dyson … the previous people’s dirt coming into my house!

  20. Sheryl says:

    In our house any single item that costs over a hundred bucks needs to be discussed, whoever is buying it.

  21. jenna says:

    I don’t NEED my husband’s permission to purchase something. It’s common sense to anyone in a meaningful relationship that they TALK about decisions. The money is both of ours and if the husband was to just go out and buy, say an XBOX 360 without asking me, I’d have issues with it. It’s something that is an “investment” and with the economy the way it is right now, smart people would be discussing their purchases before they made them.

  22. V-Grrrl says:

    Shocked to discover Marie The Snake Charmer and I are married to the same person!!!!

  23. I am a mom! I am a blogger! I use proper grammar. I don’t assume every woman who is a mom and a blogger has a husband. I guess I am not the target audience either. The housekeeper brings her own vacuum cleaner.

  24. LVGurl says:

    Mammaloves comment #2 killed me! :)

    I know this isn’t necessarily your point, Neil, but I feel compelled to say it anyway — I cannot imagine being excited enough to sign up for what amounts to a two week “free” rental of a Dyson. Then, *before sending it back* blog about the experience of using the vacuum, providing visuals? (Sounds fulfilling) And share the story with the world? Finally, ask your husband to buy one for you? Seriously? That seems like a lot of footwork for the blogger, especially when Dyson gets all the publicity for free. I can’t believe companies are getting away with this… and bloggers are happily complying.

  25. trisha says:

    What was left out of the sentences pulled to quote was this part:

    Will I get to keep it?

    Sadly, no. This one is on a very important trip around the blogosphere. But that doesn’t mean you wont see rewards in the future for your participation.

    If I sat on my site and told everyone to sign up to get a free vaccuum, i would have 100K entries and not someone who really has a true need or a reviewer that wants to TEST a product, I would have a PAID review panel, not an honest review. We want an honest program. There will be perks and thankyous for being a part of the program, of course, but those are not going to make the front page of momdot…it would be a reaction we dont want.

    trisha

  26. Ashley says:

    2) Wives love to clean the house, especially with innovative appliances

    I fail at that one. To me, innovative appliance would equal an appliance that cleans the house its own damn self…and bonus points if it can make me donuts. Or something.

  27. Susan W says:

    I don’t know about other women/wives/moms but if I just went out and got a $500 vacuum my dh would kill me. If I wasn’t a SAHM and made half of the income I would spend what I wanted but that isn’t the case. Or maybe I am just not as rich as some of the wives who can go out and get a $500 vacuum without worrying what my dh would say or what bills wouldn’t get paid.

    And as for my dh vacuuming?? Not really so he doesn’t care what kind of vacuum we have. He has his chores, I have mine and some we share.

  28. patois says:

    It’s posts like these that have me howling. Well, the posts and the comments. As for me, I’ll stick with my nearly-as-expensive Oreck.

  29. Neil says:

    Jenna — I’m not sure buying a woman buying a vacuum and a guy buying an XBOX falls in the same category, but I see what you are saying.

    And yes, since the Dyson is so expensive, I can understand discussing it over with your spouse.

    You can find some of the excellent older model Dysons online for $230.

    http://tinyurl.com/5ukdwr

  30. trisha says:

    Neil, its the same when its a $500 vaccuum, not a $99 vaccuum. Its like going out and buying a new pair of jeans at walmart…or buying a pair of Rock N Republics. Your checkbook wont cringe over your $9.99 jeans, but its going to throw rocks at you over the $300 one.

  31. Danny says:

    If you ever get married again I’d stake my life on the fact that she’d never touch a vacuum cleaner. I’m the only one who’s ever used one in my house (and I’ve been married twice). My vacuum cleaner is a piece of crap and I’d love to try that Dyson but $500? Are you kidding? Are there really people that vacuum more frequently than once every two weeks? I’m almost there…if you consider once a year close. Oh well, we have mostly wood floors and my $9.00 broom works just fine. Now I need to go research Momdot.com so I can get my gender discrimination lawsuit started…

  32. Pingback: Mom Blogs at MomDot » Ah…Dyson Backlash

  33. Sarah says:

    You have got to be kidding me. You read that review and took it as a 1950s vision of marriage? Seriously?

    Obviously, Mom Dot has enough respect – yes, respect – for her husband to include him in the decision making process. The Dyson is expensive and marriage is a partnership, after all.

    As for vacuuming being fun: I hate cleaning, but I have a love affair with my Dyson. I love seeing how much it sucks up. Yes, it can be fun. Try it.

  34. Kimberly says:

    Peeved Michelle – I thought I’d start by saying that I’m active on the momdot site and a SINGLE mom and not once have I felt out of place. It is geared for mom’s, yes, but they don’t have to be married. Yes, there’s a comment about a husband, but that’s not the point of the post. Taking a sentence or two out of a piece of writing and blowing it out of proportion is ridiculous. Things should be read in context for find the main ideas. Finally, I’d also like to say as a SINGLE mom, I don’t consult with anyone over my purchases, but I’d still love the chance to try out the Dyson. Why? Because I’m not sure I want to spend $500 on a vacuum, and what better way to decide than to have a trial run? I’ve often commented that I wished technology companies would allow you to try out items such as cameras and computers for a couple weeks before making a final decision, and commend momdot for such a great and innovative idea. And to me it’s simple – if you don’t like the idea, if you think the idea is stupid, then don’t go to the site and don’t sign up.

  35. I happen to think the program is a plus. We need a new vacuum and perssonlly letting me try one out would be an asset in making my decision. $500 is a ton of money and YES I would discuss buying something that costs this much with my husband. My DH does a ton of housework and he thinks the program is a great idea. I HOPE with all my heart I am picked.

  36. In my house, out of a respect for each other, we discuss a lot of purchases that are over 100 or 200 dollars which I’m thinking a Dyson costs that much (never looked into one since my vacuum works OK).

  37. Charmarie says:

    Wow, well I’m at a loss for words. My relationship damn well isn’t like that, I buy what I want (most of the time) unless its a big purchase then I’ll consult R, Or he’ll straight our purchase it. Oh and I don’t do cleaning I have other things to tend too ;)

  38. Roadchick says:

    Redneck was talking about a Dyson the other day.

    I told him the vacuum I have is fine.

    Because I don’t want a big, shiny vacuum under the Christmas tree.

    After Christmas is over, THEN I want the Dyson.

  39. LVGurl says:

    I LOVE IT! Neil is stirring the pot!

  40. deidre says:

    My chiropractor told me that women should never vacuum. Something to do with how our hips our built – its terribly bad, apparently. Its advice I like.

  41. Neil says:

    Diedre — that’s the same excuse sophia used…

    Also she told me that she is allergic to dishwashing detergent. Do you buy that one?

  42. Amanda says:

    Saw this post and had to comment. I personally would not ask my husband to buy a vacuum. I vacuum. My husband does not. We both despise cleaning but somebody has to do it. One day I’ll hire a maid. Maybe a man maid. ;)
    But -all fun aside – that’s really not what MomDot’s post was all about. It was simply a product review and an opportunity for those who wanted to take it.
    Personally, for me I would not and have never been interested in product reviews that do not let me keep the product. I turn them away instantly because I just don’t have time for that.

  43. Amanda says:

    Oh crap. I meant I would not ask my husband before purchasing a vacuum. If asked him to buy one he’d bring home a piece of junk. He’s cheap. ;)

  44. Ok, this cracked me right up! Your tongue-in-cheek dialogue is great!

    This promotion would never work for my house. My husband is the one who wanted our Dyson, he bought it, and he uses it. I hate it because either we got a lemon or it just doesn’t work for our carpets. I’d say it sucks, but really it does quite the opposite. Luckily our house is mostly hardwood or I would have tossed it out on the side of the road a long time ago!

  45. LVGurl says:

    Apparently not everyone gets your satire.

  46. mommymae says:

    i don’t mind vacuuming, but hate the rest of it. daddyjay does 90% of the cooking in our house. he’s better. that’s also why he picks up…he’s better. i do laundry – he does garbage. it’s a trade-off around here.

    and no way would i want to do the review…i would hate to deal with packaging the damn thing up to send off to someone else and would probably use the piece once. that’s about how often i vacuum.

  47. X used to do all the vacuuming at our house. I think it’s a man thing; big, noisy machines.

  48. Lesley says:

    That line “your vacuum that you use on a daily basis” makes me feel like such a slovenly slut. But that’s a good thing, isn’t it?

  49. i have a dyson, the purple one for pets, but i don’t have that new one, with the ball on the front. i told my husband i was looking at getting a new vacuum, i still to this day have never told him the price, but it is worth every penny.

  50. Finn says:

    Just imagine how clean your house will be and how convinced your husband will be to let you get one after you have proven to him how great it is!

    I feel nauseous.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge