My head was spinning from all the posts, and twitters, and comments over the weekend about the BlogHer article in the Style section of the New York Times. Most of the discussions were similar:
“Why do male bloggers get into the Business and Technology section while women bloggers are relegated to the Style page?”
There were numerous mentions of the patriarchial society, about how men are taken seriously and how women are belittled as mere mommybloggers. Some women said that they were proud of their “girl” interests — it enabled them to start online businesses and to be courted by companies. But — these women naturally wanted to be taken as seriously as the male bloggers who get into the Wall Street Journal.
I agree. I’m all for an equal playing field. Yea, women! Is there any blogger out there who loves women more than me? But many of the comments that I read — particularly by women — made me depressed.
First of all, I live in this patriarchal society, just like everyone else. I have to deal with the stereotypes — the fact that technology, business, and politics are considered serious and manly pursuits. How many self-deprecating jokes did I have to make on Twitter this weekend to hide the fact that I loved “Mamma Mia?” While mommybloggers set up successful online networks, I have to explain to my male friends what I do as a blogger. If I didn’t make up some practical reason — “hey, maybe I’ll get laid by one of the hot ones” — they would think I am wasting my time.
“How much money do you make on your blog” asked a friend recently.
“Uh, nothing.”
Weird looks of disdain. I can’t even say I got even a free wii, like so many of you.
The patriarchal society affects me.
My readership is 90% women. Why? Because most men don’t give a crap about what my mother made for dinner last night. Men read and write blogs about technology and business and politics. These are the worthy pursuits for men. To most men — there are the professionals and there are the hobbyists. This is a clearcut hieararchy as tightly controlled as who gets into Guy Kawasaki’s private party at BlogHer.
What I found surprising this weekend was that so many women seem to think the same way.
Every time I saw a female blogger write the expression “male blogger” this weekend, it was a code name for “tech” or “political” bloggers like Techcrunch or Daily Kos. It was as if these female bloggers had the exact same viewpoint about male blogging as the New York Times. While “Female Blogging” represented a wide range of views, from writing about shoes, knitting, to talking politics, “male blogging” was still dressed in a suit and tie. I read the term “male bloggers” countless times, not once described in a way that includes me.
Come on ladies, I know you are trying to win some power for yourself, but don’t use rhetoric that diminishes me. Don’t say ”male bloggers” when you really mean male tech bloggers or male business bloggers.
I am a male blogger.
Give men the freedom to expand their horizons in the same way you want for yourselves.
What? You mean we’re ALL not trying to get laid here, in some fashion or another?
Maybe you could forward this post over to some of the fuckwads who ARE trying to appropriate ‘male blogger’ as some kind of generic term to refer to any blogger who is not a complete and total baby-photo-uploading whiny-assed pussy GIRL. (sorry, still feeling ranty)
I hated that article. It seemed to tease women for the “mommyblogger” phenomenon and as a proof the only quotes made most women sound whiny and/or clueless. I am sure some were taken out of contest, but for the others, I have to say this:
people have different tastes. Some will like your blog, some won’t. Some blogger make money and get book deals. Are they more deserving, better writers? Some of them are, some just got lucky, but most actually played it right.
If I hear one more whiny comment about how women have it harder than men… they just bug me to no end.
As a female blogger who hangs with mommybloggers online, I often receive e-mails that assume I’m a mother. Whenever someone asks me what my blog is about, I somehow feel the need to say, “I’m not a mom, but I just write about my life.” I wish I could stop that, because there is enough room for all of us, regardless of whether we’re male or female, mothers or not, so long as the writing is good.
You do present a refreshing point of view in the midst of this discussion, however.
Today I wish I could be more eloquent, but as I said to someone earlier today, all I really want is some more guacamole.
I completely agree – if we as women expect for the doors of equal rights to swing wide open for us we certainly ought to practice what we preach. Its simply not fair for us to corner the male blogging population into a box of tech and business blogs and meanwhile complain about not being taken seriously. Come on ladies. We can do better.
Lizzy – “We” are doing better. A vocal minority, amounting to a scant fraction of a percentage point of all bloggers, is guilty of a transient rant to that effect. I don’t see it taking hold, I don’t believe it is a blogging society problem. It’s just coming up, as divisive issues are wont to do now and then in this still rather touchy and sensitive modern American era. Drama mongers, some folks are. I’m seeing it and I’m ignoring it and continuing to write in my blog, as usual.
NYCWD – yeah..if this is a BIG conference..I want BIG speakers there..if they can get em.
And yes..not just on lifestyle stuff….
I love BlogHer..but do feel that there is a bit of a personality problem going on
Or their dicks.
That is my favorite subject.
Life isn’t fair, never was and never will be. People with limited talent (Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian) get their own television shows and others will real talent struggle to be noticed.
Sometimes it is better to be lucky than talented.
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I’d say it’s time you forgot that you even knew me. Great job.
“Sometimes it is better to be lucky than talented.”
Jack is smart.
Personally, BlogHer made me realize that I have 98 blogs by women in my reader and 3 blogs by men. I like men, get along with men, and think men are swell.
So why don’t I read them?
I think I just haven’t found them yet. Welcome to my extremely gender lopsided feed reader.
All ths lively discussion is making my head spin. Honestly, up until THIS BlogHer, I had no idea that women started blogs with the primary intention of making money and becoming “famous.” (At least, that’s what I’m interpreting though all these articles and blog posts.)
I truly thought that monetizing one’s blog (if one so chooses) and microcosmic fame were the after effects of time spent writing, building relationships, and gaining readers. I also thought that most people started blogs, like me, just to have an outlet for writing. But all this hoopla? I had no idea that some bloggers were so wrapped up in revenue, prestige, and respect. I am seriously naive, and apparently I missed the whole point of blogging.
Coming extremely late to this thread, but I found another good commentary on the NYT story here.
I know I’m a year late but excellent point Neil. I think to some degree all bloggers still hold up tech bloggers as BLOGGERS and everyone else needs qualification. We shouldn’t forget that men write about fashion, food, and family too.