Citizen of the Month » What I Learned in Therapy Today

What I Learned in Therapy Today

I’m emotionally dependent on my mother.

I’m emotionally dependent on Sophia.

I’m emotionally dependent on my friends.

I’m emotionally dependent on women.

I’m emotionally dependent on my therapist.

I’m emotionally dependent on sex.

I’m emotionally dependent on writing.

I’m emotionally dependent on readers of my blog.

On the positive side, I don’t have a drinking or drug problem.

Tags: co-dependency, therapy

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LOL. Me, too.

How did you learn something in therapy? Did you steal your therapist’s notebook? Did you eavesdrop while your therapist talked about you with another patient?

Well, you could be emotionally dependent on running then have your body declare it is emotionally dependent on couch time…

WOW I’m the complete opposite. No emotional ties but I don’t really care when I’m high. Party on Wayne!

I could have told you that for free. But I don’t know you that well and I didn’t want to offend you.

Plus, it has more meaning if you realize it yourself.

Sounds like excellent work. Good job Neil!

I think you are supposed to be emotional dependent on your mom! But yeah, this is progress.

Well, at least you’re not an independently emotional asshole. You have that going for you.

I’m only surprised your penis was not mentioned in this post.

Jane — He goes to group therapy on his own.

Well, you are ahead of me then.

Great timing. I see mine tomorrow. Perhaps I’ll bring your list so I can just go downhill from there.

I bet if you start with some “Gateway” drugs you could develop an addiction to drugs AND alcohol before your next session. Do us proud, Neilochka. Go out there and kick some emotionally dependent ass.

Oh, I want to read that therapy session, Neil.

It’s not too late to start drinking.

What Will said.

I’m emotionally dependent on the comment love.

You actually feel emotions, which puts you ahead of most people!

Emotions are overrated. Come on up for BlogHer and I’ll make sure you’re addicted to all kinds of stuff.

Okay.

Man, you’re F-ed up. Sounds like you could use a good, stiff drink my friend.

Um. At least you’re not completely cut off from your emotions? Anyone?

Therapy is hard work, Neil. Good for you for doing it.

We’re all emotionally dependant. We are all in this together.

Carry on.

I’m pretty emotionally dependent on your blog, too, Neil. So we can be bloggingly co-dependent.

Wait, you paid for this? We could have diagnosed you for free!

congrats on not being a lush/junkie!

Of course, after I realized all this, I asked Brenda, my therapist, “So what do I do now?”

“How the hell should I know.” she answered. “You’re being emotionally dependent again. Get the f**k out of here and figure it out yourself!”

Please define “emotionally dependent” and how its different from the phrase “I like.”

Yet!

i don’t have a drug problem but drinking problems are kinda fun. really.

I like Brenda. She gives good advice.

I’m going to recommend a life-changing event. Something way out of your comfort zone. Something that you would never do. Perhaps you could have a contest and let your readers decide what it might be? Examples (unless you’ve already done one of these):

Sky diving
Hike the Oregon trail … by yourself
Swim the Atlantic (Okay, just kidding.)
Scuba diving the Great Barrier Reef.
Take a metal smithing class

Whatever you choose, it has to be something you would never do in a million years. And you have to succeed at it. I can’t guarantee it will help, but at least you would have something to focus on.

At least you’re not emotionally dependent on plankton and barnacles. That would show some real deficiencies in judgement. And you’re not emotionally dependent on sex WITH your mother, which would be way twisted.

Maybe we should consolidate your dependencies to make them easier to treat: Like you could become emotionally dependent of writing about sex with friends who are readers of your blog and expecting Sophia and your mother to disapprove, driving you to your therapist’s office. Then we’d just have one big issue to deal with, huh?

Well, at least you’re a people person and not a hermit?

So basically you’re emotionally dependent on everything and everyone but yourself… maybe you need to be rebirthed and start all over.

so you need validation through sex, family, friends, your blog, writing, and your shrink.

sounds familiar. welcome to the wonderful world of creativity!

There is emotion involved in sex?

No shit, Neil. Stop thinking about it so much, and you’ll probably feel better.

dear god…i so need a therapist…

I tried therapy once, but after filling out the checklist and confirming that I don’t have substance abuse problems or hear voices, I figured I didn’t need it. There was no “comment addiction” checklist item at the time.

So, was your therapist saying that being emotionally dependent was a bad thing?

Neil to therapist: “I’m quitting therapy. I found something much better.”

Brenda the therapist: “You have? Please tell me.”

Neil to therapist: “Yes, I’ve decided to listen to my blog readers instead. I’ve gotten drunk, slept with my mother, played with my penis, used heroin, sky dived in the nude, been reborn, found Jesus, and you know what — I’m cured!”

Exactly just HOW MANY HOURS LONG did your therapy session run for you to discover all that in one day? You must’ve put out lots of cash to cover that session, which means that you won’t just be emotionally dependent on your mother, on Sophia and on friends, but you will now be financially dependent on all those people.
At least you’ve become enlightened…

Wait one second. Hold the phone. Are you saying that you didn’t know these things before?

Time to start up on drugs and booze, I’d say.

at least you have feelings. you nice. you’re smart, and dog gone it people like you!

I bet you I spend less on booze and drugs in a yr than you spend on therapy

The first step is admitting you have a problem, the second is telling the world on your blog.
OK, you’re cured. Next topic.

This made me literally snort loudly at my desk.

So, you’re emotionally dependent.

Means you are human, you know?

I believe we are seeing the same therapist. Except she tells me that I seek validation in “inappropriate places,” so at least I have that going for me.

Sky diving nude? Now that WOULD be a life-changing event.

I learned all this about 2 years ago when I read the first three lines of the first post I’d ever seen of yours. I wish I had known I could save you a lot of money by telling you then. I just assumed you knew. Sorry, buddy.

Ok, let me just say that every time you talk about Brenda, I imagine that Brenda Starr is your therapist.

During a rough patch (that lasted a couple years) I had a sign by my bed that said, “Give me a break, I don’t do drugs.”

At least you are consistent.

i think i just realized that am not emotionally dependent on anyone… i’m thinking being on the opposite side may not be the healthiest either.

Sugar–You made me spew beer! Bad Neil;-)

I see this all as a good thing, socially connected kind of thing.

that’s a relief that you don’t have a drug or alcohol dependency, b/c after you get sober you find that you are dependent on everything else in your life.

which, i guess you already are. i had a thought, aren’t we all emotionally dependent upon these things and it’s ok?

as an avid therapy receiver, “they” say it’s about balance. balance is the trickiest trickster in all the land.

And at least you aren’t one of those furries…

I choose drugs.
Oh wait…chocolate.
Yep, I choose chocolate.

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