Blonde shiksa enjoying a “Neilochka”
Earlier today, I received a comment on my last post suggesting that it might be easier to earn immortality by having my own sandwich at a Jewish deli rather than creating a drink named a Neilochka. Not a bad idea. After all, half of you didn’t even know that a lemonade/iced tea was called an Arnold Palmer. Clearly, my readers are lushes who only know the names of drinks with vodka or tequila inside.
I love the sandwich idea. It totally fits my “branding.” I love sandwiches. I’m Jewish. And there is something very sexy about a woman eating MY sandwich.
But I’m all about community. In the spirit of the Great Interview Experiment, I believe that Everyone is a Somebody. That’s why, today I am opening Neilochka’s Virtual Kosher Deli. Think of it as a Subway extreme. The options are unlimited. You create your own sandwich — the meat, cheese, or vegetables, the condiments, and the type of bread — and then name it after yourself.
My sandwich, the Neilochka, is fairly simple, which reflects my personality. Corned beef, sauerkraut, spicy wasabi mustard, on rye bread. No cheese or vegetables. Enjoy it for lunch.
What is your sandwich? Write it in the comments.
my sandwich is the “Frolicker”:
grilled chicken thinly sliced on lightly toasted sourdough with garlicky mayonnaise, sun-dried tomatoes and crispy lettuce. shoe string fries on the side.
i’m glad to see a pickle with that Neilochka.
The Soupytwist
Hot pastrami with coleslaw and spicy brown mustard on toasted Pumpernickel with a cup of tomato soup.
OMG, I’m so hungry right now.
The RhiRhi:
Sourdough with Cream Cheese, Turkey, Avocado, Tomato and Sprouts. I’m also going to need Salt and Vinegar Chips on the side.
Toasted Russian black bread, thin slices of avocado and tomato with a pinch of flaky sea salt. Sometimes I put a few drops of red wine vinegar on it. Oh, or peanut butter and jelly. I’m not picky, you know, not one bit…
My goodness, I just reread my comment and want to clarify that the peanut butter and jelly would be a separate sandwich. Am utterly nauseated at the thought otherwise.
Tomato, cucumber, broccoli sprouts on whole wheat bread, with either really expensive mustard or olive oil and vinegar (salad on two pieces or bread). I was vegan for a long time and things like mustard become important when you’re eating essentially bunny food.
Mine will be called “The Slight Regret.” Roast beef, pastrami, and pepperoni, with tomatoes, onions, peppers, banana peppers, and a French dressing/horseradish sauce. Honey-nut sub roll.
With onion rings.
God, I am so hungry now and nothing in my house comes even close. My sandwich is a simple hot pastrami on grilled rye with just mustard and mayonaise. My other favorite already has a name Ruben.
Eating my sandwich as we speak. Behold the Kelliqua: Flatbread with a big smear of artichoke/spinach hummus, feta, tomato, artichoke hearts, sprouts, salt and pepper.
With an Arnold Palmer because here in the South that’s the only way to get less sugar in the Sweet Tea.
Turkey, swiss cheese, avocado, tomato and red-pepper mayonaisse on a wheat roll. Best served with a side of cheddar potato chips. See, the turkey is deceptively mild, but the smoothness of the avocado and the bite of the mayo blend with it create quite the mix of personality traits.
The next time I watch that movie, I’ll be thinking of how wonderful the Neilochka is. “I’ll have what she’s having” indeed!
The Miguelina
Chunky chicken salad with grapes, walnuts, and avocado on a toasted croissant.
you sometimes amaze me with your genius.
okay…
The Sarcomical Surprise:
sourdough
solid white tuna
american cheese
dill pickle slices
…all toasted!
beat that!
The “I’mStealin’URSandwich” Sandwich. Because on this diet that I’m on, I’m too hungry to put forth the effort of making my own sandwich.
Frenchy -
Black Forest Ham, peppercini, havarti cheese. Mustard, mayo, served on a baquette.
I’m going to give my sammich a little more thought, but in the meantime I want a bite of Kelliqua’s! Mmm.
Also, does a Neilochka sammy evoke the same response that the blonde shiksa had to hers? I’m just askin’.
I’m going to call this “How ’bout THEM Apples, Jack?!”:
Toasted Onion Bagel
Monterey Jack Cheese
Thinly Sliced Gala Apples
A Slight Essence of Champagne Mustard
(Delivered with fried pickle slices and a grimace.)
The sandwich I invented about 15 years ago is:
Toasted white bread
Yellow mustard
Black olives
I call it the Toasted Poet.
I despise rye bread. For some reason, it completely disgusts me.
For me, some form of a chicken parm sandwich would be ideal. I wonder if a chicken parm bagel sandwich would be any good…
The Whoorl!
Tuna salad – mine includes solid white albacore tuna, chopped red onion, chopped green olives, pepper and a dab of mayo
Served open-faced on an Everything bagel with swiss cheese melted on top. YUM.
Steak Sandwich!
I love tuna, so I think I may have to try the Whoorl.
I’m starving. This post is not helping matters.
The Sizzle Sandwich: Roasted eggplant and peppers drizzled with pesto, melted mozzarella with garlic aioli on toasted focaccia bread.
OK so if I can’t have my vodka it’ll be :
The Sassalicious :
Avocado,
melted gruyere (something French, of course !)
smoked turkey
alfalfa sprouts, &
Mustard.
I have to go now. I just made my own mouth water.
I’m not going to lie. I keep coming back looking for sandwich ideas. I may have to bookmark this post.
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A whole grain, nutty bread with turkey,swiss cheese baby spinach and butter lettuce, roasted red peppers, sprouts, cucumbers, tomatoes, pesto, and a vinaigrette
The communicatrix:
albacore tuna salad (dressed with olive oil, lemon juice, capers and scallions)
on
SCD-legal almond mini-bread slices, re-baked in low oven (200F) until lightly browned and crisp through
topped with
thinly sliced sharp cheddar
1. Assemble open-faced sandwiches on ToastROven tray.
2. Set to “top broil” until cheese is melted
3. Top with SCD-legal green olive slices
Eat me!
Your sandwich sounds delicious. I don’t really go to Jewish delis, the ones I’ve been to have been too bland for me. Your sandwich does not sound bland in the least.
My sandwich, not for the dieter:
A hearty whole wheat roll, sliced in half and most of the insides scooped out. Filled with a mixture of leftover KFC original recipe cold chicken, skins included, avocado, diced tomato, and cubed mozzarella with a ranch-chipotle sauce. Add about 1/2 bag of Lay’s potato chips and several fresh fans of green-leaf lettuce, put the top on, and brush with oil. Peperoncinis on the side.
The DC…
honey wheat kaiser roll
plain cream cheese
avacado
lettuce
chicken breast
tiny bit of ranch dressing
mmmmm……
I want a corned beef sandwich now.
The LVGurl:
Turkey, ham, salami, roast beef, and pastrami… on a fresh sourdough roll… with mustard, mayo, shredded lettuce, tomato, and pickles.
ohhh goood lord… i have been totally craving sandwhiches lately, and this doesn’t help much! Everyone sounds so delicious!
Mine would be:
Turkey
Ham
Bacon
Spicy Dijon Mustard and Balsamic Mayo
cucumbers tomatoes
sprouts
on freshly baked multi grain foccacia
with
Mixed baby greens
fresh pears
crumbled blue cheese
toasted almonds
with raspberry vinnaigrette.
it shall be named:
I Am the Sandwhich
and you can eat it in the bistro while reading my blog.
Oh boy, a fresh Cheddar and Herb bagel, toasted, with a few slices of vine ripened garden tomato, three slices of marble cheddar cheese, a little dab of Miracle Whip and salt and pepper to taste!
Wow, these sandwiches are really saying a lot about your personalities.
LVGurl — turkey, ham, salami, roast beef and pastrami?! Either you are indecisive or a total slut.
Memarie Lane — What the hell kind of sandwich is that? No wonder why delis are bland to you! That’s like the type of sandwich they would make in an insane asylum! Scoop out the bread? KFC Chicken? Were you raised by wolves?
Lou P — You “despise” rye bread? Maybe you should try the “Memarie Lane sandwich” instead.
Miguelina — That sounds really good, and simple enough that I can make it.
Kristen — I hope you realize that your sandwich is basically olives on toast. Are you very minimalist in everything you do?
Like the looks of your sandwich.
Mine’s on light rye, hazelnut spread (that’s not a come-on), avocado, tomato and fresh basil.
and it would have to be toasted. Would that go without saying?
OMG, I am so hungry now I might mug one of you for those sammies.
The Finn:
Rare roast beef
Sliced Roma tomato
Thinly sliced Vidalia onion
Garlic and herb spreadable cheese (Boursin or Allouette)
on Pesto Cibatta bread
Grilled steak, thinly sliced red onions, blue cheese vinaigrette on ciabatta. Toasted.
The Buzzgirl:
An acceptable variation would be to substitute fontina or gruyere cheese for the blue cheese vinaigrette, but adding white truffle oil.
God, that sounds so good right now – and I just ate lunch!
I’m bookmarking this post for meal ideas.
My sandwich? Hmmm.
9-grain bread toasted. Light herbed cream cheese, lettuce, sliced cucumbers, tomatoes, red onions, sprouts, green peppers. Dill pickle on the side.
Oh my, these sandwiches sound good!
My sandwich is thinly sliced chicken breast, thinly sliced granny smith apples, herbed Boursin cheese, on multi-grain bread.
This is the only way I ever get fruit into my diet.
I call it: The Dingo Ate my Sandwich
Neil- there would still be bread, but it would be scooped so the bread would fit around it, like a sourdough bread bowl. If it seems weird to you, remember- I’m pregnant!
My sammie:
toasted whole grain bread (sans crusts)
cream cheese
thinly sliced apples
thinly sliced english cucumbers
Served with G.U.S. Ginger Ale. Aaaahhh! Refreshing!
The Catheroo:
roasted turkey
pesto mayo
goat cheese
tomatoes
romaine lettuce
on ciabatta
I haven’t found this sandwich anywhere. Will someone make me one? Thanks.
The DiSammich
Slightly warmed roast beef
pesto spread on sourdough bread
havarti
Gotta run…now hungry!
The Bloomwich:
Whitefish salad on egg bread with tomato, cucumber and sweet purple onion. Yummmm…salty and smokey, yet crunchy and delicious!
You put sauerkraut on it and I won’t swallow. Just sayin- bleach.
The Barranti:
American, Provolone, and Swiss, grilled (directly on the grill), on Italian bread with oil-and-vinegar cole slaw and french fries. This is a direct rip-off of my favorite Primanti Bros. sandwich. OMG I wish I were in Pittsburgh right now. I can make this sandwich at home but I already spent my food budget for the week. Also I am too fat.
The Empy (in honor of my beloved grandmother)
toasted Roman Meal bread, crunchy almond butter, and spicy bread & butter pickles. Enjoy with a smile.
(Just remember this one thing before you turn away in disgust – peanut butter is not sweet.)
Hmm… this might be tomorrow’s breakfast, just on white bread. Peanut butter & pickle sandwiches have been loved by the women in my family for at least 3 generations. My twist is almond & whole wheat.
Grilled chicken on sourdough with avocados,please with pepper on my paprikash And pie..?
so excited about my sammich I forgot to name it–Paprikash Surprise.
Ok, I’ve got two…
1. Soft warmed pita stuffed with shaved mesquite smoked turky, thin slives of fresh avocado, provalone, bacon and sprouts. It’s delish.
2. Cinnamon raisin babka in a panini with super thin slices of pierre robert brie and crispy slices of green apple. It’s a total taste bud orgasm.
Fresh tomato from the garden
Thick slice of mozzarella cheese
Homemade pesto