Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Happiness Project, Day Four: Send in the Bras

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The Official “Bras for Happiness” badge

Neil: Hey, Penis, you want to come out and play?

Neil’s Penis: Nah, I’m depressed.

Neil: Wow, I never heard you say that before. I thought you NEVER got depressed.

Neil’s Penis: Well, you’ve finally done it, haven’t you? Proud? Now, I just want to sit around and watch American Idol.

Neil: I’m sorry. I guess I know how you feel. It’s because…

Neil’s Penis: Yes… and also…

Neil: …it’s our birthday on Friday…

Neil’s Penis: Woo-hoo, big deal.

Neil: You’re always so sarcastic, Penis. You don’t really mean that. We can still celebrate together.

Neil’s Penis: Celebrate what?! You have to admit this year’s birthday is gonna be a downer. Last year, Sophia arranged for our greatest birthday we ever had, thanks to all of those bloggers. This year, with Sophia and you…

Neil: Well, maybe other bloggers can come through again, cheering us up. They always do. Remember when we missed Fall, they emailed us photos of the foliage from the East Coast. And when we were lonely with Sophia away, they shared photos of their beds with us.

Neil’s Penis: Yeah, they are a special group. But now we’re at a low point. I can’t imagine anything they could give us that would be the pick-me-up we need.

Neil: I can. Remember when when we were teenagers, and we used to wait for the mail to come, so we could see the Macy’s circular, just so we can look at the bra ads.

Neil’s Penis: Of course, that’s one of my fondest memories.

Neil: Bras! The Magic of Bras can save the day.

Neil’s Penis: Bras? What do you mean?

Neil: Imagine if bloggers email us birthday photos of women in bras — retro Maindenform ads, Victoria Secret models — or even the most special gift of all — a photo of a female blogger’s OWN BRA. She doesn’t have to be wearing her bra. Her bra can be hanging in the shower or on the kitchen chair, or just sitting next to the dog on the bed. But it would be HER BRA — and I would know it!

Neil’s Penis: Brilliant, Neilochka. I think it might just work!

(I will be posting these photos, so if you actually email me a photo of YOUR BRA for my birthday and just want to keep it, uh, private… please tell me so. Otherwise, just send me a photo of a woman in a bra — any age, any race, any shape!)

(Why do I have the feeling like this post is going to get me booted out of BlogHer?)

(If I said this post was sponsored by Bali and was using this as a way to monetize my blog rather than just being a horny guy exploiting his birthday for selfish purposes, would that sound better?)

Send in those bras! My birthday is Friday. Neilochka at yahoo dot com.

Update: You can now email me photos of things other than bras.

34 Comments

  1. But that would mean I gotta Fedex it overnight international!

    It’ll be more effordable if I just buy one off ebay for ya.

    Happy birthday! (p.s. I’m a Pisces too, my b-day’s coming next Saturday!)

  2. Are you sure you are older than, say, 15?! And does your mother read this?

    Forget I asked – you guys never really do grow up. It’s part of your charm.

  3. you mean no manbras for manboobs? neil, i’m disappointed in your lack of equal opportunity. but your penis probably doesn’t care.

    happy birthday. i can send you a picture of a woman in a bras, but it wouldn’t be anything you probably haven’t already seen online.

  4. Geeze, Neil! There are all sorts of thoughts that need to go into this! Cute Bra? Sexy Bra? Supportive Bra? One that looks smaller? One that looks larger?

    hmmm much to think about!

  5. I”m not sure how I missed all of the previous posts! So, I’m behind on the happy project. Hope your day rains brown paper packages tied up with strings and all of those of your favorite things : )

  6. been there…done that…Although I do have a new…….

  7. I may send you pics of my own bra. Depends on how adventurous I feel this weekend. My birthday is Saturday, so I can see it happening.

    Happy birthday, Neil. It’s gonna get better. Phil Collins and Genesis say so.

  8. Did you know that the word “bra” in Swedish means “good”? Always good for a laugh!

  9. Neil,
    When I get out of the hospital I will mail you the bra that my puppy chewed up when she was younger. It has that sexy, chewed look.

  10. I usually go braless, so, hmmm. I’ll have to think of something. You and your penis have been so generous.

  11. Oh Neil, I’ve always wanted you to see me in my bra. I’m all yours baby.

  12. I imagine I’m going to get jumped on my the hordes of female fans for this comment. And Neil, please take down this comment if you deem it inappropriate.

    My husband blogs and I have to say that if we weren’t having problems, a blog post requesting pictures of bloggers in their bra would certainly cause them. So if you’re coming from a rocky place already…I don’t know.

    I could totally be overstepping. Sorry to pee on your birthday cake.

  13. But you’ve already seen me in my bra!

    Ok, ok, I’ll send more. 😉

  14. I never have a problem showing off my bras… I do, however, have problems remembering, but I’ll do my best!

  15. Hang on a second, a man and his penis shouldn’t solicit pictures. It’s 100% certain to result in bad feelings at home but it’s the asking for them that seems wrong. If the women of the world decide to sent them on their own that would be one thing but asking for them sounds a little “Put the lotion on it’s skin” to me.

  16. My birthday was in January and did I get any photos from you? NO

    Plus, in recent weeks I’ve sent bathing suit and boob photos and now you want bra photos too.

    You’re getting greedy, Neilochka.

    Go sleep in the car!

  17. I am very much looking forward to a update on how many photos you got from this post!

  18. Slackmistress — I never said I want to see bloggers in their bras. I want to see their bras, even if it is on a towel rack.

    And I’m more than aware that this is a childish and stupid idea, but is so is taking a kid to Chuck E. Cheese for his birthday. Getting you bizarre wishes fulfilled is what birthdays are all about.

    But thanks for caring about my situation at home. I appreciate it.

    Will — and I used to agree with you. I would seem wrong to ask for something so eccentric. But therapy has changed all that. Why should I remain passive all my life, waiting for opportunity to strike. I’ll be blogging for years before a female blogger will send me a photo of her bra. Why not just be upfront about it? What do I have to lose? My reputation?

    If I start dating again, it’s not going to be, “Uh, Sally, would you mind if I gave you a little kiss?” That always failed. Now I realize it is a turn-off for women. Now, I’m just going to look into her eyes, grab her close, and say, “You’re mine.”

    Don’t think of this as a sexist post by a typical man. Think of this as a man finally becoming a man, and when he want s bra, dammit, he’s going to ask for it. And if the girl says no, he’s not going to get all weepy because he knows there’s always another girl down the block willing to send me that bra.

    I’m trying to be an inspiration for all men, Will! Not all of us are as lucky as you — finding a women who adores you like a greek god.

    And woman, don’t fret — my birthday celebration will be a celebration of all women in bras — buxom and flat, black and white and asian, even still sexy women who have lost a breast due to a bout with breast cancer!

  19. It’s actually more of a Myan God but I see where you’re coming from. It’s not that your idea is sexist, guys like boobs. While I have my opinions on your methods of empowering yourself they are just my opinions, I’m not trying to rain on your parade.

  20. If Will was soliciting photos of other women’s underthings – in them or not – he’d be sleeping in his car.

    I don’t understand this in terms of being married, which I believe is what you’ve said you want to do (I may have been reading between the lines.) So to ME (again, I read this through my filter, so take this for what it’s worth) I would assume the healthy action would be towards saving your marriage.

    Put more simply: as a reader I am confused that you act and write like you want to save your marriage. You cite that you’re passive and you should be taking action, but the action you take is potentially harmful to that goal.

    The reason I adore Will is because he is a man – he’s willing to say what he feels, to go out on a limb when it’s scary. He’s a man because he respects his partner and is willing to call her on her BS, and he’s willing to be called on his.

    Both of us blogging adds extra element to our relationship which has resulted in strain (ah, the relationship problems of The Future!) It can be a delicate tightrope walk at times.

    I promise you that this will be my last comment on this thread, but I wanted to speak up what you’re doing seems wholly damaging and unhealthy not for the women who have responded, but to YOU.

    Best,
    Nina

  21. You’re getting strange, Neil. Discuss this sudden urge for women’s underwear with your therapist as soon as possible.

  22. It’s your birthday and your blog, Neil.

  23. I agree with both Slack Mistress and Fringes.
    From prior discussions I think we both understand the difficulties blogs and the internet in general can have on a relationship, so SM makes valid points as to exactly WHAT you hope to accomplish and the best way to go about it.
    That being said, to quote Fringes, it’s your blog and your birthday. We dig your blog for a reason, and that’s because you’re willing to put yourself out there and really be honest, warts and all.
    I guess my question is what motivates your posts; your readers and what you think they want to hear, or yourself and what you truly want to say? If it’s the former, rethink it; if the latter, go forth young man.

  24. Lighten up people, it is just a BRA and everyone has breasts, even the pope.
    I’ll be sending my ‘A cup’ photo and I will be proud and not ashamed of my small American breasts.

    My birthday is in April, ‘jock strap’ photos will be appreciated.

  25. You sent me your penis, so I’ll send you my bra. It only seems fair, really.

  26. my husband would die, so i just can’t. however, would it help to know i’ve sent him some very nice cameraphone pics of my bras on occasion?

    …probably not, huh? 😉

  27. i’ve gotta add, too, that if i were sophia i’d probably smack you on the head for requesting pics of other gal’s bras. hers should be quite enough, yes?

    i fear for the state of your union after this, but hope for the best! heh. 🙂

  28. Thank you for all your comments, pro and con. I love that people took me task on this. I hate those blogs were everyone just says yes. I appreciate it. See the next post for some changes to the idea.

    But then again, I do really appreciate the bra shots, too!

  29. gee, you seem to have stirred up a bit of controversy with this one. i think it’s another original idea, i’ll have to see what i can come up with.
    i’m looking forward to psychomom’s birthday in april!

  30. Who wears jockstraps? I haven’t seen one of those since little league. That’s a jockstrap, right? The thing with the cup, right?

  31. My sons wear them and I love it when they ask me if I know where their cup is, like I borrow it or something.

  32. Slackmistress, Will, Sarcomical, others — Thank you again for worrying about me shooting myself in the foot with Sophia. She has always been great in letting me do whatever I want online, and I doubt this will upset her in any way. She has a fabulous sense of humor, and knows I’m not going to run off with a female blogger because of her bra.

    Our issues are about other things.

    And we are separated, and I am moving out. So, maybe it is healthy for me to start thinking about other women in their bras. One step at a time.

  33. Greatest idea ever!

  34. its not like you don’t see bras or too small bikini tops on TV or at the beach. mines on its way.

    :giggles:

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