the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

The White Suit


I stand before you naked. 

I go to my closet and pull out carefully protected suit, wrapped in space-age unflammable plastic.  I remove the suit from the garment bag and start to dress.  The suit is white, pure and innocent, perfectly clean. 

I don a white shirt, leaving the two top buttons undone.  It is sexier that way. 

I adjust my pants, making sure that my bulge of my package can be clearly seen by all who pass. 

The final touch, my high heel shoes.  I am now 6’6″ tall.

I am ready.


Waterloo – I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo – Promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo – Couldn’t escape if I wanted to
Waterloo – Knowing my fate is to be with you
Waterloo – Finally facing my Waterloo

The is only one event that can bring me out of my recent depression.

Mamma Mia.  The songs of ABBA.  Tonight. 



  1. helen

    I was too young for ABBA then, but I sure love their songs. I got my wish. My aerobics teacher is obviously just as hooked. She kept playing ABBA tracks for her workouts.

    I’m not complaining. lol

  2. better safe than sorry

    i never really understood the whole ABBA thing, but my mother, who has no idea who ABBA even is, saw the show and LOVED IT!!!
    i know i don’t have to say it, but enjoy:)

  3. Bre

    Though I’ve never seen the show, the soundtrack often makes it into my “dance around the house in my underwear” rotation- High quality!

  4. Jennifer

    My daughter bought me tickets for Mother’s Day, but they are for the show coming here in November. The anticipation is giddy-inducing.

    Sort of.

  5. tamarika

    What can I say? I loved ABBA then and still do now. My dream is to go to their museum or whatever it’s called in Sweden. And MAMA MIA? Was fabulous! I went on Broadway and in Buffalo. And would go again! Am envious. Have fun tonight! I *so* hope they don’t fail you at this time in your life!

  6. ElizaF

    I loved Mama Mia, in fact we are planning to go and see it again in the West End once the children go to their Grandparents at the end of the Summer. Come on sing loud and proud now:
    So when youre near me, darling cant you hear me
    S. o. s.
    The love you gave me, nothing else can save me
    S. o. s.
    When youre gone, How can I even try to go on?
    When youre gone, Though I try how can I carry on?

  7. Kelliqua

    My very worn and VERY loved ABBA cd is the perfect cleaning music. There’s a musical? Ohmahgod, I must crawl out of this hole so I can know these things.

  8. Irina

    I can’t wait to see the show in mid-October.I love me some ABBA!

  9. sizzle

    I hope it raises your spirits- in your pants or otherwise. 😉

  10. Otir

    When you are depressed you can go help someone who is even more depressed. You still haven’t tought me how to insert a url properly in your comments. I would have give you the link to a post where they discussed – with the illustrating video – how women react to the bulge in the white pants.

    I am sure you would have been highly interested in this piece of womanly education. Too bad. Maybe not too late?

  11. Rattling the Kettle

    I saw the show on Broadway not long after it opened, it was a lot of fun. Enjoy!

  12. Rick

    Ack! Na-na-na-na-na-na… I can’t he-e-e-ar you… ear worms, ear worms, earworms!

  13. Long Story Longer

    I am ILL with jealousy! Seeing Mamma Mia is pretty much the highlight of my life. No matter how bad the mood, that thing can turn me around. Have a great time!

  14. plain jane

    You will post photos of you in your ABBA outfit?

  15. Danny

    Hey, whatever it takes! When I’m depressed I sometimes come home and watch “Meet Me in St. Louis” and get lost in that simpler (fake MGM) colorful world. I’m in NY this week and will be seeing that “Frost/Nixon” play tonight while you’re at “Mamma Mia.” Can Richard Nixon have the same effect on me as ABBA does on you?

    (I wish you really owned such a suit–you need to get one!)

  16. Two Roads

    Oh my, I thought you had passed your ABBA phase. Bring it on – I can handle it any time!

  17. sputnik

    Don’t fall off the platform shoes, Neil.

  18. Therese

    I heart ABBA forever.

  19. churlita

    I’d much rather see an actuall picture of you in your ABBA suit.

  20. Eileen

    Those pants. Dear God.

    Do a jig to Dancing Queen for me

  21. LVGurl

    Have fun tonight!

    I’m so excited, now I know what to dress up as for Halloween! I totally want the outfit on the left (sans bulge).

    There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, FERNANDO

  22. V-Grrrl

    Neil, Neil, Neil,

    Your life will never turnaround as long as you’re listening to ABBA.

  23. Akaky

    You’re gay, arent you?

  24. Dustin

    Mamma Mia was a great show. Don’t go looking to score though as I remember most of the fans being 50ish married housewives and equally old balding gay men. Still lots of fun though.

  25. butterfly

    yeah, it’s official…you are a gay nag… Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

  26. Postmodern Sass

    I have boots like that.

  27. JanePoe (aka Deborah)

    I hear ABBA is better than Prozac! ~JP

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