Comments on: Ask Me Any Question!

By: ms. sizzle

ms. sizzle — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 00:19:05 +0000

i’m so glad i didn’t participate. for a joiner, it was hard for me to refrain but now i see the benefits.

By: Neil

Neil — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 19:10:28 +0000

Thank you, all for participating in my experimental post yesterday where you answered the questions for me AS ME. I should reveal now that this post was never about learning more about me. It was all about learning about YOU. As a budding Scienceologist, I have been asked by my superiors at Scienceology HQ to rehabilitate as many other bloggers into a state of total freedom as possible. I have analyzed your questions and responses in this trademarked Scienceology experiment, based on Dibanetics, and deem you all in need of the exact methodology to awareness (in layman’s terms: you need help big time!). Many of you seem to be totally obsessed with Neil’s Penis, even more so than Neil himself, and some of your questions were just downright silly. Dibanetics will teach you that envy and jealousy are false illusions. Just because you may not be as effective in the bedroom as Neil, does not mean you are without talents. Many of you can juggle, or do your own taxes, something even Neil cannot do. Scienceology will be able to unlock your spiritual potential across many lifetimes, putting you on the proper path. You will be receiving more information on Dibanetics via email, along with information on making your penis grow 3 inches in 3 days.

By: Alison

Alison — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 18:50:16 +0000

Neil’s Penis: Schhhaaaa…me? Neil might need some every once in a while, but I sure don’t.

Question: How are your biceps doing these days, Neil?

By: JanePoe (aka Deborah)

JanePoe (aka Deborah) — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 17:46:20 +0000

Only if I can drive cross-country in a Prius with my iPod and a few boxes of John Updike.

Question: Neil’s Penis, have you ever used Viagra?

By: kristen

kristen — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 12:08:53 +0000

Neil: I saw this cute girl working at Starbuck’s wearing Birkenstocks so now I have them too and maybe when I order my soy latte, she’ll ask me out.

Question: Do you ever think of moving back to NY?

By: V-Grrrl

V-Grrrl — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 10:22:33 +0000

No, I used to be THE MAN, but then I moved to LA.

What do you think of Birkenstocks?

By: Bice

Bice — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 06:11:08 +0000

Neil: Her adam’s apple.

Question: Have you always been a dude?

By: Karla

Karla — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 04:43:39 +0000

Neil: Is this a euphemism for “How many women must a man sleep with before he becomes a MAN?” If so, I hope the answer is 1.5, because that’s my record so far.

Question: What is it about Karla from karlababble.com that has you so obsessed about her?

By: the Yearning Heart

the Yearning Heart — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 03:19:20 +0000

Neil: Oh, it’s just so complicated. I wish I knew. I feel as though I’m going with the flow of a flash flood, sometimes, trying to keep my head above the water.

Question: How many roads must a man walk down?

By: Amy

Amy — Sat, 20 Jan 2007 02:56:11 +0000

Neil: Circus Peanuts. You know those orange floppy pieces of weirdly shaped peanut like candies. Yup, Circus Peanuts people.

Question: What’s the deal with you and Sophia? Are you divorced or back together? Or what is the story?