the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Sophia, Fortune Cookies from Redondo Beach Never Tell a Lie

fortune from Seafood Village, October 25, 2006

(the waiter with the cool Chinese name who calls himself Paul says hello and looks forward to your return from New York)


  1. justrun


  2. Churlita

    Is that your nickname for Sophia, Pleasure?

  3. Two Roads

    Neil, just be yourself.

  4. Charming, but single

    Neil, I told you what you needed to do to make it happen, mmmkay?

  5. patry

    How could she resist you?

  6. chantel

    Welcome home Sophia!!

  7. Mist 1

    Tell Pleasure to take a number, I’m busy. Unless he’s really hot. Then tell him I’ll be right there. Is that too desparate?

  8. treespotter

    seriously, what do the numbers mean??

  9. Neil

    Ancient secret numbers? The true meaning of “Lost?” No, they are numbers for the lottery!

  10. lux lisbon

    Nice one! The only thing awaiting me is laundry. *sighs*

  11. kristen

    And if you use those numbers, I’m certain you’ll win the lottery!

  12. rdl

    You must be busy buying flowers,lighting candles, fluffing pillows, pouring wine for the big day/night.

  13. Nics

    awk bless! hope it all goes well!

  14. orieyenta

    That along with the YouTube dance – she must be swooning. Hope it goes well.

  15. Alissa

    Why is there a . between 47 and 13? is it 47.13 – does that work for the lottery?

    Welcome home Sophia!

  16. Linda Freedman (TherapyDoc)

    Neil, please forgive me, but I used you to write a post on Speaking in Code! Sophia, you, too, must forgive me.

    I have poor boundaries. But since the post IS in code, no one will get it, and it should all be okay. Gam zu l’tova, right?

  17. paintergirl

    I’m still laughing abou the Youtube dance. How could anyone resist. Isn’t your fortune a Roxy Music song?

  18. Sedulia

    Once I got a fortune cookie that said, “Don’t trust the person across from you.”

  19. Edgy Mama

    Welcome home, Sophia.

    Pleasure is good. Don’t overanalyze, Neil, just relax and go with your gut. And tell your penis to keep his mouth shut for once.

  20. Amy K

    Ugh, this post has me craving Chinese food now. Thanks, Neil!

  21. M.A.

    You’ve got to write a song about her homecoming. Do it!

  22. Rhea

    You know that trick you use in Chinese restaurants. You add the words “in bed” to the end of every fortune. “Pleasure awaits your company…in bed.” It works!

  23. K.Leigh

    The last fortune I got read, “Accept the next proposition you receive.”

    All I could think was, “eeeeew…”

  24. Non-Highlighted Heather

    When my mom had “the talk” with me, the term she used to describe the sexual relationship between two people that love each other was “pleasurable.” She also dropped this therapy requiring phrase on me, “I find intercourse with your father to be very pleasurable.” Suffice it to say that now any time I come across that word in any of its conjugated forms, it takes everything I have to not curl up in the fetal position and spend the rest of the day in a vegetative state.


    If I were a hooker, that’s what my buisness card would look like. Only it’d be my cell number rather than lotto numbers.

  26. Leesa

    I need that fortune cookie 😉

  27. laurie

    Margaret’s comment had me cracking up!!!!

  28. better safe than sorry

    i’ll have to use those numbers for a lotto ticket here, see if i have any luck.
    at first i thought maybe it was her flight number and gate number, wouldn’t that be spooky!
    safe flight to home to your sophia!

  29. Heather B.

    awwww, Neil. She’ll be back soon.
    Chin up.

  30. Roberta

    I love getting the right fortune at the right time.
    When they are wrong and dumb, they don’t count.
    When they are right and perfect, it’s the universe conspiring in my favor.
    May the universe continue to conspire in favor of you and Sophia.

  31. melanie

    Lotto Ticket. Get one. Luck is bound to be on your side soon.

  32. Neil

    Melanie, not a bad idea…

  33. Violet

    Y’know, I’d be wary of eating in a restaurant which is THAT empty. It can’t be too popular.

  34. echo

    I hope it all goes well for the two of you.

  35. schrodinger

    I don’t know man – ‘still separated’ may not mean ‘horny’.

  36. trouble

    How can Sophia possible resist fate speaking to her through your fortune cookie?

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