In the old-country, Jewish marriages were arranged by matchmakers. Perhaps the most famous Jewish matchmaker was Yenta. Yenta was the name of the matchmaker in Sholom Aleichem’s stories, several of which were collected into what became the musical “Fiddler on the Roof.” The word “yenta” has taken on negative connotations in the modern word, and it is usually used to describe a “busybody.”
I’d like to defend the good name of matchmakers. Being a busybody was part of the job. A matchmaker HAD to sneak around and ask a lot of questions because she was a detective — always looking for clues that would help her make the best match. In the Jewish tradition, it is also a mitzvah (good deed) to help make a successful match.
(from Matchmaker, Matchmaker — Fiddler on the Roof)
Hodel:
Well, somebody has to arrange the matches,
Young people can’t decide these things themselves.
Chava:
She might bring someone wonderful—-
Hodel:
Someone interesting—-
Chava:
And well off—-
Hodel:
And important—
Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
catch me a catch
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Look through your book,
And make me a perfect match
I’d like to revive the spirit of Yenta the Matchmaker right here on this blog — on these special days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Tomorrow, Thursday, will be a special day on “Citizen of the Month.” Tomorrow, we shall all become Yenta the Matchmakers.
I will be making blog matches between 10 pairs of bloggers. These are not romantic pairings. These are pairs of bloggers who I have never seen read each other’s material (I’ll check their blogrolls), but I think should give each other a try. Using an ancient technique passed down from my grandmother, I will try to match bloggers by their sensibilities and interests.
Recently I was successful in introducing Danny and Elisabeth to each other. At first glance, they have nothing in common. But a true matchmaker realizes that they are both brainy bloggers with a twisted sense of humor. Now they are on each other’s blogrolls.
This is not easy for me. I do have a jealous streak. I used to get upset when my “blogging friends” became friends with each other. One day, I’ll be reading Blogger X and I’ll be surprised to see my friend Blogger Y writing a comment. Before you know it, Blogger X and Blogger Y are taking a trip to Las Vegas together, without even sending me a postcard.
But the week before Yom Kippur is one of reflection and self-improvement. I’m going to fight my jealousy and spread the love. So, if I match you up with someone, give their blog a chance. I know matchmaking is not a perfect science.
Please join in tomorrow with some matchmaking of your own, maybe even mix and matching blogrolls. Are you the type who is always saying, “These two bloggers really need to read EACH OTHER!” If so, tomorrow is your chance to do a mitzvah by becoming a Yenta the Matchmaker for the day.
Update: The matches.
A Year Ago on Citizen of the Month: A Shanda (Yiddish for Shame) (I really get Jewish at this time of the year, don’t I?)
things really haven’t changed thaaat much… matchmakers these days are similar, they just look more modern!
cute idea. i’d like to see what kind of pairings you come up with.
That’s very nice of you. Yes, spread the love, spread the joy of blogging all over the world.
The blogging world becomes a beautiful world with people like you!
I matched my friends K and M, one Jew, one Hindu and they have YET to invite me to the wedding of my dreams in which there is a chuppah and saris. I am a bad yenta because I am bitter about this, though they are still dating.
No, I don’t really have a point.
I have to say that your idea is brilliant tho difficult. Would be interested in seeing where you send me…if you do.
What a nice idea! Now if only I could get the Fiddler songs out of my head today… (To life! To life, L’chaim…)
Yeah, it’s all in my head too. Could be worse, could be Cats.
My mother always called me Yenta from the time I was little. And then a few summers ago, I fulfilled mom’s casting prediction when I played Hannah (the matchmaker) in a local production of Crossing Delancey. But I think I more capture the Jewish busybody flavor than the matching itself. I’m no Emma. I’m no Neil Kramer.
Looking forward to it.
I’m going to bring my soundtrack to Fiddler on the Roof to listen to tomorrow during the matchmaking. I love theme music.
I think you’ll make a GREAT Yenta. I’m excited to read about the match ups!
oooh I love your new role as blogger matchmaker. Fit me in somewhere, I am intrigued to see how you do?
I only hope that Lazar Wolf the butcher is not on your blogroll.
I love it! I’ve recently discovered a few new great bloggers through other bloggers who’ve repeatedly told me, “OMG – you don’t read [...]? How is that possible? S/he’s HI-LARIOUS!”
I know these aren’t romantic pairings, but do you know any pirate bloggers you can match me up with? Just wondering…
I always thought I’d make a good yenta.
Match maker is a powerful position.
I need to expand my horizons on the blogs I read, feel free to suggest. In turn, I suggest that you check out http://nosmokingintheskullcave.blogspot.com/
I’ve found many new blogs I read through your commenters here, and several have told me that hopped to me via you…and you don’t even know it! (I don’t have a blogroll at this point.) So, I guess I could call you ‘The Accidental Matchmaker.’
If you continue successfully in this venture, can I turn my love life over to you and see how you do???
What a great idea! I’ve already found some “new” bloggers through you (much as Deezee said, via your comments).
I, too, have found some new reads through your blogroll already.. and a new visitor/fellow skeptic of Olive Oyl yesterday. This is a very ambitious project of yours.. will you be wearing many a Yenta-style shawl while you match?
Neil, I think you have made several matches already without even trying. I’m on the list of people who have checked out your blogroll and even people who have made comments. I’m such a curious type that I even click through on other blogs when I visit a blogger I “found” through you. I can’t wait to see how you “match” people up. You just might have a new job!
Ooo…I agree with several of the others – you have already done this a bit without even knowing it – I have found many other good reads from your blogroll and some of your readers seem to have found their way to mine!
A blogger shadchan – who would have thought?
great idea neil. can’t wait to see you in yenta action.
I like the blinged-out Yenta necklace. It’s what every Yenta needs.
How fun! Good idea.
I’m an excellent matchmaker; my son just doesn’t take my advice. He’s tall, dark, handsome, single, divorced, no children, employed and I’m on the look-out for a terrific daughter-in-law. He’s on the look-out for her too, but our idea of terrific seems to be quite different. See what you can do.
I’ve never seen The Fiddler On The Roof so I’d never heard of Yenta but I’ve been called Cilla before. She used to present Blind Date over here. I resent being called that as I only matchmake while under the influence.
Well, this certainly gives me a new reason to wake up tomorrow. How exciting!
God damnit, Neilochka. Now that freakin’ matchmaker song is going to be in my head all day.
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream…
I’m just the opposite. I love it when people come across blogs they love from my links.
The matchmaking is tricky – for blog friends it should be fun. But I’ve been set up by friends with guys and I wanted to ask my friends later if they really hated me that much because the guys were awful and so not my type.
I’m a crap matchmaker, and a crap matchmakee, but I dig the idea, Neil.
Don’t worry, Neil. I won’t go off with anyone to Las Vegas. I know you’re worried about that.
Hey Neil! Catch me a catch!
Of course I posted that comment before realizing that you posted the lyrics to the song. I thought I was being all clever like. So, see if you can find someone as equally as dimwitted as I seem to be. Thanks.
I was all set to write one of those irritating comments where I’d correct you that “Yenta” is not a name but the actual word for “matchmaker.” Then I realized I was dead wrong and “Yenta” IS a name that has come to be used in that way mostly because of “Fiddler on the Roof.” Who knew?
My great-grandparents were matched by an actual “shadchan” (the real Yiddish word) and were married for over 70 years. Honestly, I think the matches made by these folks have just as much chance as working out (if not more) as the marriages we stumble into on our own.
Love the idea of your blog matches but I don’t think Elisabeth was such a stretch for me. She is French after all and you know what a francophile I am! Remember that my daughter is half-French.
I like that comment that you are “The Accidental Matchmaker” (great title I may steal). I’ve linked to several people after finding them on your blog and I’ve also sent people your way who are now among your most devoted readers.
Is a Yenta anything like a Yentyl? Is Yentyl past tense of Yenta?
Also, I tried saying the word out loud and it sounded like something you’d say when asking a question. Like: “Y’enta that March Madness pool at work yet? Pot’s about seven hunnerd now.”
I’ve found lots of blogs through your blog Neil, Danny’s being chief among them. I’m looking forward to seeing who you match!
Laurie — You are making a a mistake common to shiksas from the South. Yentyl is a book by Isaac Bashevis Singer and a character played by everyone’s favorite Jewish diva over 50, Ms. Streisand. A yenta is a matchmaking busybody, which is common in all cultures.
Thanks for the clarification, neil
I love me a matchmaking busybody. How do you think I ended up married?
Oh… whoops. That’s maybe not the best example. But you know.
Oh– what the heck is a shiksa? Is that like a sh*thead or something? Did you call me a bad word? Or is it Yiddish for “cracker ass cracker” ???
A shiksa is a hot non-Jewish babe that all the Jewish men check out when she walks down Ventura Blvd.
Danny: “My great-grandparents were matched by an actual “shadchan” (the real Yiddish word)”
B*e*e*p, b * u * z * z, wrong. Shadchan is a real Hebrew word.
I love, love, love matchmaking, but every single match I’ve made has ended up in divorce. Yikes. With a track record like that, matchmaking now frightens me.
Neil, I’d like a boyfriend!!
P.S. I love Fiddler on the Roof!!
Great concept. Looking forward to see who you pair!
we have a show here called matchmaker, a canadian version of blind date. i told my oldest daughter for years that i could pick a nice guy for her better than she could, but for some strange reason, she thinks she should meet guys on her own. this past summer she changed her mind and told me if i knew anybody, to go ahead and set her up. now i’m scouring my neighborhood for just the right guy, it’s not an easy task. good luck with tomorrow!
I am new to Citizen of the Month and new to blogging – would love if you would find me a match!
Hmm, I thought “shadchan” sounded like Hebrew, thanks, Sophia. But I know it was commonly used by my Yiddish-speaking (non-Hebrew-speaking) relatives. To “make a shiddach” sounds more Yiddish. In any event, I still think it’s an idea that is underrated. On the other hand, it’s still hard for Jewish women to get a Jewish divorce if the husband isn’t willing so you don’t want to get stuck with a psycho who paid off a shadchan…
I can’t wait to read them! What a great idea.
Neil and Laurie, it’s Yentl, not Yentyl.
Definition of shadchan. Also contains an OLD — and I mean OLD — Jewish joke:
The story is told that a Roman matron once asked Rabbi Yosi: “How has your God been occupying his time since He finished the creation of the world?”
“He has been busy pairing couples,” answered the Rabbi.
She was astonished. “Is that His trade? Even I can do that job. As many man-servants and maid-servants as I have, I can pair.”
“Perhaps it is a simple matter in your eyes,” replied the Rabbi. “For God, it is as intricate as the Splitting of the Sea.”
She promptly placed one thousand man-servants opposite one thousand maidservants and declared, “He will marry her, she will marry him,” and so on.
The next morning, two thousand servants came to her door, beaten and bruised, complaining, “I do not want her, I do not want him!”
She sent for Rabbi Yosi, and conceded: “Rabbi, your Torah is true.”
Tatyana – Always the showoff. Kish mier en toochis! (Laurie, that’s Yiddish for kiss my ***)
They say he has a temper
He’ll beat you every night
But only when he’s sober
So you’re alright.
Remember: Playing with matches a girl can get burned.
Hello, Neil.