One of the bloggers I met during my trip to San Diego was Modigli. Meeting her was particularly exciting because I’ve been interacting with her as a blogger for more than a year. I’ve “been with her” when she lived in Cleveland, when she took a trip to Florida, when she fell in love with another blogger in San Diego, when she moved to San Diego, when she couldn’t find a job, when she took a crappy job at Starbucks, when she finally got a teaching job, etc.
I know more about her than some of my real friends.
So, I see her for the first time as I’m getting out of my car in front of her apartment complex. But do I feel joy? No! Being a neurotic person, I feel only anxiety. Why? Because all I could think about was, “How do I greet her?”
“Do I hug her? And do I hug her in that fake way or give her a real hug? Should I give her a kiss on the cheek? Will she think I’m too forward? Will her boyfriend get mad? Should I just shake her hand? Should I kiss her “French” style on both cheeks? Will she think me unfriendly if I don’t kiss her at all?”
Luckily she came and gave me a big hug so I didn’t have to worry anymore (until it was time to go home when the thoughts came up again).
I enjoy meeting other bloggers, but I don’t like feeling anxious. So, please help me and tell me now AHEAD OF TIME how you would like to be greeted – in case I ever meet you in person.
Would you like me to:
1) Hug you weakly?
2) Hug you strongly?
3) Kiss you once on the cheek?
4) Kiss you on both cheeks?
5) Kiss you on the lips?
6) Kiss you on the lips with tongue action?
7) Kiss you while feeling you up?
8) Kiss you while squeezing your ass?
9) Kiss you while grinding against you?
10) Shake your hand?
Thanks for your help.
And remember, tomorrow is Blog Appreciation Day. Show your love to another blogger! If you are sending a photo to someone, and you’re not afraid of revealing your location, show the daily newspaper or something specific so the person can feel proud that his blog is being read in Memphis or London, or wherever else you might live.
A Year Ago in Citizen of the Month: Can Anybody Find Me Somebody to Hate?
Whooh hooh I’m first! (Unless someone is simu-commenting.)
Something in between the weak and the strong hug… some would describe it as a ‘warm’ hug.
But you can grab my ass if you feel the need.
How about this option — a warm, double-handed handshake.
Can you squeeze my ass in mid hug?
Do whatever the hell you want, just don’t make me laugh right now-it hurts too much!!
I would like to be hugged weekly, thank you.
Oh kiss and grind definitely!
1) Hug you weakly? No.
Kiss you while squeezing your ass? See #5.
2) Hug you strongly? Yes.
3) Kiss you once on the cheek? Sure, if you feel like it.
4) Kiss you on both cheeks? Sure, I don’t care.
5) Kiss you on the lips? Mmmm, no, I don’t think the husband would appreciate it.
6) Kiss you on the lips with tongue action? See #5.
7) Kiss you while feeling you up? See #5.
9) Kiss you while grinding against you? See #5.
10) Shaking your hand? That works too.
Big hug initially.
Then we’ll have to work out some kind of hand signal as to whether or not you can squeeze my ass at goodbye.
I like to be greeted with a good old fashioned deep-tissue massage. And can you come before the weekend? I’ve got a knot.
I am new, for now a firm handshake.
Down the road A Big Bear Hug works great.
What about 11) Just say hi.
I hate shaking hands, it seems so odd.
But #9 might work, too.
Hell, all of the above works for me, Neil.
my name is “cruisin’”…you figure it out.
Hmmmm, I don’t know yet. Are we meeting for dinner? And are you buying?
I prefer a headbutt.
Feel free to feel freely.
You can grab my ass. Whatev.
Simple nod will do, thank you. And maybe a wave.
False familiarity is distasteful.
Not that I forsee it being an issue, but I know exactly what you mean. And it’s just… argh!
Kiss on both cheeks, if you please. Then if you’re feeling it, move in for a nice hug. Not one of those pussy hugs that just shouldn’t happen. You know the ones I mean. I know you know.
What about you? Wait. Let me guess. If you have the choice, you’re going for a combination of 6, 7 and 9, aren’t you, you sly thing you.
I usually hug other bloggers when I first meet them. On occasion, they might also be the recipient of a tap on the ass, but that’s pretty rare.
You should buy a round of drinks. Then our hands will be all nicely tied up and unavilable for awkward hugs until later, when hopefully we’ve figured it out.
Aww, and Smitten’s your crush of the day. I love her, too!
i pick a. definitely a.
is this some sort of psychological test? what does that say about me?
I’ll take a #2, you can supersize it, and yeah, I’d like a coke with that.
I like huge, warm hugs. I really have an aversion to handshakes, even in the workplace most of the time. Why shake hands when you can hug it out?
Hug me strong…Weak hugs are like clammy handshakes. Awkward and unpleasant.
You forgot one: the wave. And that’s for the terminally shy of us. In my case a wave will do if we are meeting for the first time, then afterwards a hug – medium will do. And when saying goodbye (depending on the situation) then we can hug.
Yes, I would like to be greeted in all those ways….
Paperback — do you mean the wave of the hand, or the Wave like at a baseball game?
Dammit, I dont have a digital camera; I still use film…rats! Consider yourself appreciated anyway, Neil. Did you eat something healthy today? Did you take your cholesterol medication?
Akaky, you still use film? I know you live in upstate NY. Do you work for Kodak? That’s the only reason I can think of…
Both if you want.
Though, doing a one man Wave would be funny.
Did anyone notice how long the fingernails are on the guy on the right? Very funny!
Neil you can definitely grab my ass!
OK, maybe it is a woman… but the suit and shirt look like a man’s! oh well!
I would like a firm handshake and a kiss on three times on opposite cheeks. We could pretend to be diplomats from the Hague. Woohoo!
Let’s go with strong handshake or strong hug. We don’t want weak anything around here ; )
I’m with all the people who think handshakes are weird and too formal. As far as anything else is concerned, I’m into reciprocity. So, how far are you willing to go, Neil?
I would like us to move in and grab hands like we’re just going to shake, but then we pull each other in like cool hip-hop guys do, kind of bump shoulders, and at the same time lightly pound each other on the back with our free hand.
Then when we release each other, we say, “Much love.”
Got that?
Just give me some cash and we’ll call it even.
this is too funny…hmmm, that is a weird predicament to be in…you feel like you know someone but you have never met…i don’t though…i think i would do handshake…but then i don’t really feel like i “know” any of the bloggers as close as you did with her
2.
i’m all about the big hugs, but that bump and grind action sure sounds interesting!
Neil:
I prefer to be hugged while both of us are bent at ninety-degree angles so as our privates aren’t near each other.
I’ll take some of #4 and #7, please. Just don’t tell me you love me until at least our third date.
Are you going to provide a statistical breakdown of the results?
Seems like ass-grabbing is a mighty popular preference and/or alternate option.
I hope this exercise provided the relief to your anxiety that you’d hoped!
I would like something a bit different. How about you give me a lustful once over, grab me by the waist and draw me to your your chest making me gasp from surprise, then proceed with #s 3,4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. There could always be a #11… other.
this is all very interesting…i felt our hug was very natural…good work!
you know my vote!
Depends on attachment levels. Hypothetically, since I’ve been here less than a week, we meet for drinks because we are both be nervous. I extend my hand in a warm greeting. You respond in kind. We spend time laughing and connecting and by the third adult beverage I will so want you to do #7 to my 38D’s I will do #6 to you and make you beg for more.
a kiss on each cheek followed by a barbaric yawp