Comments on: Eager to Please http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/ Neil Kramer is a writer in Los Angeles (well, New York now). Citizen of the Month is his blog. Make yourself at home. Fri, 05 Dec 2008 10:13:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Marcia http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-80932 Marcia Sat, 05 Aug 2006 01:35:18 +0000 http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-80932 What you described as PA sounds more like NO or Nonsensical Oppositionalism to me. It's a congenital affliction, so use a condom. What you described as PA sounds more like NO or Nonsensical Oppositionalism to me. It’s a congenital affliction, so use a condom.

]]> By: Rhea http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-80573 Rhea Fri, 04 Aug 2006 01:45:06 +0000 http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-80573 Well, it's not really the less you give a shit about people. It's the less you are affected by what they think about you. Well, it’s not really the less you give a shit about people. It’s the less you are affected by what they think about you.

]]> By: Neil http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79887 Neil Wed, 02 Aug 2006 14:38:08 +0000 http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79887 Rhea -- You mean the older you get, the less you give a shit about other people? Rhea — You mean the older you get, the less you give a shit about other people?

]]> By: Rhea http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79879 Rhea Wed, 02 Aug 2006 14:08:59 +0000 http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79879 Don't worry, Neil. Your anxiety is perfectly natural -- for a woman. No, I'm not kidding. You are experiencing what 99 percent of all women experience every day of their lives, the whole pleasing people thing. I hope you can continue to please people and be a good guy but not feel anxious over the whole thing. Growing older helps, believe me. Don’t worry, Neil. Your anxiety is perfectly natural — for a woman. No, I’m not kidding. You are experiencing what 99 percent of all women experience every day of their lives, the whole pleasing people thing. I hope you can continue to please people and be a good guy but not feel anxious over the whole thing. Growing older helps, believe me.

]]> By: Something Dirty http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79653 Something Dirty Tue, 01 Aug 2006 21:28:23 +0000 http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79653 Totally agree with Bella's music thing and your restaurant thing. Recently I find the more I try to please the less I do. Try therapy, it can be awesome. Totally agree with Bella’s music thing and your restaurant thing.
Recently I find the more I try to please the less I do.
Try therapy, it can be awesome.

]]> By: madeleine http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79434 madeleine Tue, 01 Aug 2006 09:30:55 +0000 http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79434 OMG, Neil. i also suffer with an over-compensating disposition..feel a need to pleeeease all the time.can't even put my own choice of music on in case anyone hates it......however, when it comes to sex, my need to make sure the other person is ok seems to disipate! funny that! like i said before..any advice on the therapy..you know?!! p.s. i've only just noticed that i'm your blog crush of the day. i blog crush you too!! OMG, Neil. i also suffer with an over-compensating disposition..feel a need to pleeeease all the time.can’t even put my own choice of music on in case anyone hates it……however, when it comes to sex, my need to make sure the other person is ok seems to disipate!
funny that!
like i said before..any advice on the therapy..you know?!!

p.s. i’ve only just noticed that i’m your blog crush of the day.
i blog crush you too!!

]]> By: bella http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79431 bella Tue, 01 Aug 2006 08:15:58 +0000 http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79431 I feel responsible when I choose the music while I'm driving, and want everyone else to either like it or at least not make their ears bleed. I think I need therapy for that. I feel responsible when I choose the music while I’m driving, and want everyone else to either like it or at least not make their ears bleed. I think I need therapy for that.

]]> By: Fitena http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79428 Fitena Tue, 01 Aug 2006 06:22:48 +0000 http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79428 Neil Babe, I just knew we had a lot in common! pheewww! Am learning slowly but surely to get rid of the guilt. That's the hardest part of it. I don't get it when people don't like me. But maybe its finally because I try so hard to please that they're put off I tell myself. I don't know about you put this trait of character of mine dorve me to spend money i didn't have just because I wanted to see my friends happy. But they're i for a bog surprisenext time we go out for lunh or movie. I bet none of them would be carrying a purse. I'll have a great laugh. Oh, I like you. Do you like me? Fitèna Neil Babe, I just knew we had a lot in common! pheewww! Am learning slowly but surely to get rid of the guilt. That’s the hardest part of it.
I don’t get it when people don’t like me. But maybe its finally because I try so hard to please that they’re put off I tell myself. I don’t know about you put this trait of character of mine dorve me to spend money i didn’t have just because I wanted to see my friends happy. But they’re i for a bog surprisenext time we go out for lunh or movie. I bet none of them would be carrying a purse. I’ll have a great laugh.

Oh, I like you. Do you like me?
Fitèna

]]> By: Nelumbo http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79425 Nelumbo Tue, 01 Aug 2006 03:23:28 +0000 http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79425 Do you also try to avoid conflict at all costs? In my experience, it helped just to realize that people-pleasing can be really annoying. My husband and another good friend were open enough to tell me that they actually get frustrated with me not stating what I really want, and appologizing all the time. So I imagine your therapist will recommend assertiveness training (been there, done that). Ok that'll be $35. I take paypal. Do you also try to avoid conflict at all costs? In my experience, it helped just to realize that people-pleasing can be really annoying. My husband and another good friend were open enough to tell me that they actually get frustrated with me not stating what I really want, and appologizing all the time.

So I imagine your therapist will recommend assertiveness training (been there, done that).

Ok that’ll be $35. I take paypal.

]]> By: Pearl http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79421 Pearl Tue, 01 Aug 2006 02:01:23 +0000 http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2006/07/31/eager-to-please/#comment-79421 Neil, Eager to Please? Or did you really mean to type Easy to Please? Neil,
Eager to Please? Or did you really mean to type Easy to Please?

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