Citizen of the Month

the writing and photography of Neil Kramer

Mel Gibson Arrested for DUI

lethal.jpg 

INT.  LOST HILLS SHERIFF’S STATION – LOS ANGELES – NIGHT

Mel Gibson, still drunk off his ass, is sitting in his cell, mumbling to himself about the f**king Jews.  Suddenly Danny Glover comes bursting in through the door.

Mel:  “Danny, what the f**k?”

Danny:  “Partners forever, my Lethal Weapon friend.  Let’s get out of here.  I rigged the place.  It’s gonna blow.”

Mel and Danny jump out the window and the entire jail explodes. 

Mel:  “Thanks, Danny.”

Danny:  “We have to get out of here… and fast.  The Sheriff’s Department can’t cover-up your anti-Semitic rants forever.”

Mel:    “F**k those Jew-loving cops.  I would OWN Malibu if that Yenta Barbra Streisand didn’t already own it.  Let’s go over to Nobu in Malibu for some sake and sushi.”

Danny:  “Maybe we should hide out in my place until things calm down.”

Mel:  Yeah, we can pick up some ebony hookers.  Sugar tits, here comes the Passion of the Dick!”

Danny shakes his head sadly.

Danny:  “I’m getting too old for this shit!”

Mel:  No, you’re not, Danny.  You’re one motherf***ing good black dude!  As long as you’re not a fag.  You’re not one of those that take it up the arse, are you?”

Danny:  Why do I always have to be the responsible, by-the-book buddy and you always the crazy loose cannon?

Mel:  “It’s those f**king Jew screenwriters!”

mel.jpg
from police report

The story on TMZ.com.

Update:  Mel apologizes.  The “I was drunk” excuse.  Jeez, funny, but when I get drunk, which is very very rare, I sing dirty songs, but I never blurt out ethnic slurs!

56 Comments

  1. I cant believe what i read, we dont get news like that here. He’s doomed, and I have to say Neilochka, that was the funniest dialogue I have read for ages.

  2. Oh, I love you for this. I was ashamed of myself this morning for laughing out loud at Mel’s plight. I shouldn’t, because he IS an alcoholic who can’t get it right. Well, maybe now he’ll realize the whole ‘Jesus/Martyr’ thing wasn’t enough to keep him sober. Maybe he’ll try to, I don’t know…GET SOME &%*^#(&#$ HUMILITY!

  3. Imagine what he would do if he found out that Jesus was Jewish. AND so were all his disciples!!!

  4. To rip off a line from the movie, Aren’t they getting too old for this shit?

  5. Why is it that these psycho christian rightwing nutballs are always the ones getting caught for doing everything they supposedly stand for? What a bunch of hypocrites. Now he can totally join Rush, Hannity, Limbaugh, Delay in the growing crowd of busted Christian buttheads.

  6. You forgot the part where Danny recites some bible verse before popping a cap in some dude’s head.

    Wait…wrong movie…sorry.

  7. This is a very funny post. I wish you linked to the full story at TMZ.com.
    Once you read the full account of what happened there and how the arresting officer was told to doctor his report about Gibson’s anti-Semitic rants — it’s really really sickening.

  8. gee, real surprise that Mel is anti-semitic…great dialogue Neil (as always)…

  9. Good disguise putting it in ‘screenplay’ format…instead of just transcribing it from the police record.

  10. OK, I’m boycotting Apocalyto. Not that I really wanted to see it anyway.

  11. It’s the heat right? Strange!

    SMooch,
    The Tart

  12. It’s a very angry person who uses this kind of language when shitfaced. Most people still have some filters when over the top. I feel badly for him, because obviously he’s got some issues to take care of. However, that does not in any way excuse getting in a car, driving drunk, being belligerent with an officer, and using horrible slurs to one and all and even to some who aren’t even present.

    NOT someone I’d invite to dinner. I don’t care how hot he once was. He disproves the loophole rule.

  13. People seem to assume that people don’t mean what they say when they are drunk, but isn’t it also often true that since people’s prohibitions are down they say what they really do think underneath all their censors? I really hope no one falls for this “I didn’t mean it. I was drunk” b.s.  It was no coincidence that he chose to tell the most anti-Semitic of gospel stories/versions in Passion of the Christ.  He and his dad are truly of the same blood and if I’m correct, he was sober enough to also be commenting how this was going to ruin his career. The only reason he keeps a tight lip normally on his anti-Semitic beliefs is because of career and $ interests. If anyone believes differently, I have a bridge to….

  14. Wow. I think everyone here is being a little harsh. I have to disagree with the sentiment that whatever you spew when drunk is in part the truth. Alcohol can make people stupid, and incapable of conveying clear, sound, sensical communication.

    Everyone keeps talking about the Religious stuff. If you’re going that route, why not speak of the Christian ideal of forgiveness. What about, let he who has not sinned cast the first stone?

    We’ve all screwed up. Most of us are lucky enough to not make national news.

    I’m just sayin’ Oh, and the post was very funny, in light of the article.

    Sorry about the rant.

  15. Yeah! I can cast that first stone! Most of my sins revolve around looking at naked women online, not about spewing hatred, drunk or sober.  But honestly — is going on hotbrunettelibrarians.com really a sin?

  16. Well what actress recently said Mel Gibson is “beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside?”

  17. The whole situation makes me sick. What a repulsive human being. I was willing to cut Mel some slack on the Passion of the Christ backlash but this is just too much.

    I agree with Neil, even the rare times I get very drunk I would never spew anti-semitic diatribes. I think that alcohol brings out people’s honest feelings. Therefore I have to believe that is how Mel Gibson REALLY feels about the Jews. So be it then. You reap what you sow. I plan on giving his movies a giant pass from here on.

    Ick.

  18. Yikes! And all along the only person I’ve been insulting when I’m drunk is myself.

  19. I don’t think anyone is being ‘too harsh,’ but the guy seriously needs help. Medical and professional help.
    Remember, those who think he was just ‘too drunk’ and didn’t mean what he said: his father loudly and publicly states that the Holocaust NEVER HAPPENED.
    Isn’t it funny that a guy who likely made most of his money off of Jewish producers giving him roles, now took that money to spread his hatred?
    I have no qualms thinking the guy is an asshole. A sick person, yes, but still an asshole.

  20. I thoroughly disliked Mel Gibson for his very, very sick right wing Christian ideas. This little episode certainly does not endear him to me one bit. The guy is just a very sick f**k.

    Great post, btw, Neil!

  21. I linked you on this one…

  22. Neil, once again, you have hit the nail on the head….

  23. Non-Highlighted Heather

    July 30, 2006 at 11:40 am

    Just for some perspective, it’s important to remember that not every hypocrite espousing Christianity is representative of all Christians, just as not every terrorist suicide bomber is representative of all Islam. I left the evangelical Christian church two years ago after a lifetime of belief, but still I am loathe to polarize. There are some truly good, kind, and compassionate people living under the banner of Christianity. When we make blanket statements about a cross section of our society, we border on the same form of hate speech and hypocrisy that we so readily criticize them for.

  24. Non-Highlighted Heather

    July 30, 2006 at 11:41 am

    Oh, and Mel Gibson is an asshole.

  25. very sad story in fact. despite the hilarious dialogue, Neil.
    well, i don’t think any of us are truly shocked by this revelation, and personally i’m pleased that he has been made accountable for such hatred.

  26. Heather — Good point. But I don’t think anyone associates Mel Gibson’s views as representative of the Christian community at large. In fact, he broke from the Catholic Church to build his own extreme church in Malibu. If only the Islamic community would speak out against their extremists as strongly as Christians do against theirs.

  27. By the way, the Sheriff’s department should also be held accountable for trying to cover up this whole mess. They made an official statement that Gibson was arrested “without incident”, when in fact he refused to get into the patrol car, ran to his and had to be caught and cuffed. This alone should be a separate “resisting arrest” charge, and certainly doesn’t qualify as an arrest “without incident’!

    Gibson’s threatening of the officer, and “promising” him to “get even” should be an additional charge.

    Shame on the Sheriff’s Department for covering it up!

  28. Looks like Mel’s been dipping into the communion wine again.

  29. Non-Highlighted Heather

    July 30, 2006 at 4:23 pm

    Actually, I think the Islamic community has been far better at calling out their extremists than the Christian community has.

  30. Sure, just look at Al Queida and all the “calling out” they’re getting!

  31. A Hollywood friend of mine has told me stories of him for years. This latest one doesn’t surprise me a bit.

  32. I criticized those who cast the “sins of the fathers” shadow on Mr. Gibson. My point was that just because his father is an ignorant biggot does not mean his progeny is likewise.

    I owe a lot of apologies. It’s clear that “Like father like son” prevails.

    I surely hope people “vote” by boycotting anything the Gibson family touches. They are nothing like last century’s Gibson girls. If he’s not a citizen of the U.S. I hope the powers that be see to it that he never becomes one.

    I wish him a speedy and permanent journey home to his daddy! May they both rest in the peace they deserve!

  33. Non-Highlighted Heather

    July 30, 2006 at 8:18 pm

    ~Neil’s Message Board~

    Yeah, but…I’ve opened my paper plenty of times and seen comments made by various Islamic clergy or people, denouncing the actions of terrorists. Just once I’d like to open my paper and see a leader in the Christian community say, “That Pat Robertson is a whack job and I don’t support anything he says, even if he *does* have freakishly strong thigh muscles.” (Google it)

  34. The thing that’s most disturbing is not that Mel Gibson is a bigoted imbecile (which we all already knew), but that the police chose to alter their report to protect him. Kudos go to the officer who wrote the original report for calling it like it was, and to whomever leaked the original. The rest of the force involved in the cover up ought to be ashamed of themselves.

  35. Here, here, Miss Syl!

  36. OK. I’m going to take a stab here and write a comment for the first time in weeks since I became a little pissed off.

    First of all, Danny Glover as a character witness? Puh-leeze. We are talking about the man who left his longtime wife for a costar, right? The man lost my respect at that point.

    Statements made while drunk? Many an ex of mine will tell you that while they were trying to forgive me of my statements, I tried to argue otherwise. I like to think of alcohol as a form of truth serum. I know that I have never said anything while inebrietated that I have not thought about while sober.

  37. Who cares what some drunk Hollywood actor mumbles?
    Look at what the French Foregn Minister says:
    “Iran is a significant, respected player in the Middle East which is playing a stabilising role, French Foreign Minister Philippe Douste-Blazy said on Monday, cited by Reuters.”

    Think of it:
    Iran. Respected. Stabilising.

    And you think Mel’s antics is an outrage?

  38. Allan Wafkowski

    July 31, 2006 at 7:06 am

    One wonders if there is more than one bigot in this story. Could Mel have been remembering the absolute hatred he and his religion received during the opening of “The Passion of the Christ” while he uttered his anti-semitic statements? The Anti-Defamation League is getting up as a vigilante group.

  39. Allan — I don’t remember too many people saying “f***ing Christian fundamentalists!” during the phenomenal success of his movie.

    The Anti-Defamation League as a vigilante group? Maybe we should sent them in to find Bin Ladin. Can’t do worse than our own government…

    Tatyana — And certainly, if the sheriff’s office gave him preferential treatment, this is a news-worthy story.  And frankly, there is something shocking about some big-budget Hollywood star having this attitude, something not very surprising when it comes from Iran.

  40. The bell tolls for Mel!

  41. OK, forget the foreign diplomats. Too far from LA.

    Let’s see what is in the local press.

    So: a drunken Gibson, VERBALLY abusing Jews or a Muslim who SHOOTS and KILLS them?

    That’s a tough choice.

  42. When I get drunk, which is often, I play with boobies. I don’t discriminate either. Big boobs, little boobs, white boobs, black boobs, Jew boobs. I love ’em all.

  43. Strap Mel to an Israeli missile headed for Hezbollah territory.

  44. This is awesome. I really want to see this as a movie. Or, a scene in one. But it has to be a funny movie. Like as punishment, Mel has to move in with Barbara Streisand! Oh the hijinks that would ensue! Hilarious!

  45. 1) His comments were reprenhensible.

    2) He needs help.

    3) I don’t think this will hurt his career since he was already somewhat of an outcast from Hollywood for making the Passion. He will need a cooling-off period where he gets real help and comes out and shows he is sincere in his regret.

    4) I like Passion, but then again I didn’t feel it blamed the Jewish people for anything.

    5) I support Israel in kicking Hizbollah’s ass.

  46. Mel was just loaded enough to loosen his tongue. He’s only sorry his statements are a matter of public record now. A BAC of of 0.12 percent is not cause for an out of body experience. He can enter detox, but that’s not going to change the fact that he’s an anti-semite.

    Let’s see him spin his way out of this one…

  47. Richard Blaquiere

    August 1, 2006 at 10:54 am

    MEL GIBSON is, was and will always be an asshole. The only movie I ever really liked with Mel Gibson was The Year of Living Dangerously. It was Sigourney Weaver who actually moved me in that one. I liked the Mad Max stuff and thought Lethal Weapon 1 was mildy amusing. I considered BABE a far superior movie to Braveheart and was disappointed when the latter beat the former out for Best Picture. Mel Gibson is an anti-semitic, neanderthal asshole. I feel better for sharing.

  48. Mel said in an 1992 interviews that gays “take it up the ass” which was meant for shitting. Hello, all the straight anal sex lovers were like, wtf, mel? What mel needs is some big strapping Jewish homo to fuck him in the ass and teach him who’s the boss.

  49. Boycott all Mel Gibson movies. The man is a major league asshole. Passion of the christ was a nice money bagging exercise to fleece the christian right and get rich by some nice jewbashing. Gibson deserves the sick shit he is in. Hollywood (i mean Jewwood)should teach him a fucking lesson.

  50. If he said those things in Jew York City, the Hasidim would have turned his meat into smoked meat sandwiches on 2nd Avenue Deli. But note that Muslims in my family are happy Mel said what they can’t say openly. Hate all religion shit.

  51. Wait–that’s not actually from Lethal Weapon 5?

  52. you suck Mel Gibson FOREVER!! I will never see another one of ur movies. Oh and tell ur dad he sucks also

  53. Sometimes a blazing drunk produces firey tesults, get over it.

  54. I guess the Old testament “eye for an eye” is still in effect within the Jewish community. I’ve never witnessed such hatred from the old Hollywood left who are destroying America.

  55. Well he stuffed us English folk as well-even in Germany the kids give me a hard time about what the English are supposed to have done to the scots as portrayed by Mel in brave heart …so Mel has defamed the Jews and the English so far – I get on fine with Iranians and Jews (I am not either) and unlike Mel I know better than to generalise on a whole race. I married someone from his birthplace (USA)but I dont blame her for him.

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