This week’s Poetry Thursday assignment was to read your poem out loud. I read my poem to a few women in my neighborhood, and they all hated it. For some reason, it made me like it even more.
Everybody Loves a Baby
Everybody loves a baby
That’s the title of this piece
I heard this conversation (maybe)
While visiting my niece:
“Look at my little Beatrice
Isn’t she a gem?
She’s really quite angelic
She’ll surely voting Dem.Her hair’s just like the hubby’s,
So fiery and red.
And don’t you love the Yankees cap
That’s sitting on her head?”
Now, as I watched this drama
I bit my lower lip.
I prayed for the overpriced stroller
To hit a rock and flip.
You see: I hate all babies,
And I mean every single tot!
All they’re really good for
Is dripping yucky snot.
That Beatrice, she looked stupid
I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.
And in that NY Yankees cap
She was ugly as Babe Ruth.
Babies are like homeless
They beg and beg for more
They don’t pay any taxes
They puke all over the floor.
I know I sound grouchy
With this tantrum, with my snit.
But my mother gave me formula
And this little brat gets tit.
I’ve been shy about posting a comment until now. You seem to be one of those rock-star bloggers who always get tons and tons of comments, so I figure mine will be lost in the shuffle.
But at any rate, this has been eating away at me…is there any particular reason that the title says “Everyone” but the first line of the poem says “Everybody”?
Loved it!
Thanks, Teahouse. I fixed the error. And please don’t be shy here. We can be rock stars together, like Hall and Oates.
Thanks for the enlightnment about Baby Ruth! lol! I really was picturing an ugly snotty baby! lol!
Fitèna
Rock star bloggers??? Dear god, I think I just heard Neil’s head go kaboom.
You’re right, everyone does love a baby. Suckas, all of us!
ps. Chag Sameach!
I love it! I almost left this blog when the first thing I saw was a baby in Yankees gear, but I’m glad I gave it a chance anyway.
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
First old people having sex, now you’re slamming babies. I think you might want to consider some therapy. And drugs. Lots of drugs.
The best thing about babies, is that they grow into surly teenagers…Oh wait. That’s the worst thing about babies. The best thing about babies, is that other people are having them.
I’ll have to think harder about what might be the best thing about surly teenagers. Maybe later, when I have more perspective.
The mix of photo and poem works beautifully. And gives me more reasons to not have kids.
I feel so much better about not giving birth. Thank you, Neil. Thank you.
Excellent stuff that man. You’re a genius squire.
And you told me you didn’t pray.
I prayed for the overpriced stroller
To hit a rock and flip.
Hey thanks for stopping by my blog, all my friends are asking “who is this neil?”
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