I’ve written a number of posts about women’s weight issues, from an early post about looking for a size 14 at the Beverly Center to an inane post about Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie which still gets comments from crazed, anorexic teenagers.
It probably doesn’t make much sense why this issue interests me so much. I’m not a woman and I’m not overweight. I think what bothers me the most is the way being overweight is being demonized in our society — for both men and women, and “fat” has become a code word for something more than just weight, with meanings now associated with class and social standing.
This might sound weird to you, but I’m sure part of my sensitivity to a singled-out group comes from being Jewish. I feel lucky to have grown up in New York City, where being Jewish is so common that even the Puerto Rican bus driver who took us to school knew when Yom Kippur was coming up. While there were some tensions between blacks and Jews in my public schools, I never experienced traditional “anti-semitism.” It wasn’t until I went to college and met Jews from other parts of the country, that I learned that the word “Jew” could be used as a dirty word. Some synagogues in the South even used the word “Hebrews” so as not to appear too “Jewish.”
I learned about “jewing down” the price, with its negative connotations of cheapness and unscrupulous behavior. Was my mother “jewing down” all these years? After all, my mother’s whole shopping strategy was to “shop for the bargains.” I always thought that was what you were supposed to do! But then I learned that wealthier “Manhattan” Jews went to the more expensive stores to buy the products at higher prices — so they can look less Jewish! After all, if the non-Jews are too dumb to look for the bargains, then we should become dumb, too. But this never really worked, because then buying at the better store became the Jewish thing to do, so it undermined the whole reason for shopping there in the first place. Luckily, things have changed, and now everyone is like my Jewish mother from Queens, shopping amazon.com to save ten bucks on a digital camera (with free shipping!). (note to Arab media: does this mean Amazon.com is a Zionist tool?)
I remember having a Jewish friend from Louisville in college and he was so obsessed about not being seen as a “cheap Jew,” that he would scold me if I picked up a “lucky penny” off the street.
I don’t need to go into a history lesson about how Jews have been demonized throughout history. You still see those images of beady-eyed Jews with hooked noses in Arab newspapers. It’s the dehumanization of a people that makes it easier to exterminate a group or blow up a bus.
Not that Jews don’t have their own bigotries. I’ve always been a bit of a snot-nosed kid on this subject of bigotry — always on a crusade. I remember when my uncle would come visit, he would always used the word “schvatza” when talking about blacks. (schvatza simply means black in Yiddish, as does the name Schwartz (like Schwartzenneger. It doesn’t really have any negative connotations to it — it means black — but when Jews say it, they usually say it with a negative spin, meaning “ghetto blacks.” When my uncle would say this, I would leave the table, angrily saying, “I will not listen to any of this racism!” In retrospect, if I met a kid like me today, I would find him a humorless prig.
Now what does all this about Jews and blacks have to do with “overweight” people?
I think the association started when I was listening to this song from one of my favorite artists, Ben Folds. While reading the lyrics, think about how the imagery of “fat” people is used symbolically to represent everything that is wrong with our American consumer culture.
All U Can Eat (They Give No Fuck)
by Ben FoldsSon, look at all the people/In this restaurant
What do you think they weigh?
And out the window/To the parking lot
At their SUVs taking all of this spaceThey give no fuck/They talk as loud as they want
They give no fuck/Just as long as there’s enoughFor them
Gonna get on the microphone/Down at Wal-Mart
Talk about some shit/That’s been on my mind
Talk about the state/Of this great nation of ours
People look to your left/Yeah and look to your rightThey give no fuck/They buy as much as they would want
They give no fuck/Just as long as there’s enoughFor them
Son, look at the people/Lining up for plastic
Wouldn’t you like to see ‘em/In the National Geographic
Squating bare-assed in the dirt/Eating rice from a bowl
With a towel on their head and/Maybe a bone in their noseSee that asshole/With a peace sign on his license plate
Giving me the finger and/Running me out of his lane
God made us number one/’Cause he loves us the best
But he should go bless/Someone else for a while
And give us a rest(They give no)Yeah and everyone can see
(They give no)We’ve eaten all that we can eat
Fat people = all you can eat = SUVs = Walmart
Now, I actually agree with Ben Folds about our culture of overconsumption. But I don’t feel comfortable singling out larger-sized people to make the point. Poetry can be used for harm as much as for beauty.
I can hear the twelve year old kid in me asking the questions…
“Do you mean that skinny people never go to all-you-can-eat buffets? Or that skinny people don’t own SUVs? Isn’t it a fact that most rich people are actually thin — and they are the ones who are most benefiting from our society. Isn’t it an easy target to use the fat Midwesterner as the symbol of the ugly American?”
Am I being a snot-nosed prig again?
Recently I saw some reformed racist on Oprah explaining to her that “nigger” isn’t that bad of a word; he would never think of Oprah as a “nigger.” And I’m sure there are people who still use the expression “jew down.”
Maybe you’re thinking, “What’s so wrong with demonizing fat people, just like we’ve successfully demonized smokers? Maybe it will force them to change. We do have an overweight country. And being fat is not healthy.”
But do we really want to shun those who are full-figured in the same way we force smokers out of the restaurant? Why do so many women, for example, avoid “hanging out” with an overweight girlfriend? Are they afraid that getting fat is catching? And isn’t the very fact that I’m using the word “overweight” a sign of my own brainwashing by society? By whose standard is someone overweight? Am I talking about someone 400 pounds or a woman who is size 12?
Have you read about this poll done by Fitness Magazine?
“More than half of Americans say they’d rather lose their jobs than get fat.
Fifty-eight percent of women and 54% of men say they’d rather be unemployed than gain 75 pounds. And 63% of women and 55% of men say they’d rather be poor with no extra pounds to lose than rich and substantially overweight.
75% of men and 80% of women say they wouldn’t give up 20 intelligence-quotient points to gain the perfect body.”
Clearly, there is a large percentage of the population that fears being fat more than being poor (I doubt these respondents were ever poor). Being poor has some coolness to it — songwriters write about it all the time. But being fat is “shameful.” And I’m sure there are many intelligent, liberal-minded, perfectly politically-correct people out there who would never think of saying anything bigoted against Jews, blacks, gays, Muslims, etc. — but who see no problem at all singing along with Ben Folds:
“Son, look at all the people/In this restaurant
What do you think they weigh?”
This is truly a great post Neil. I can relate to the main issue which is FAT and to the black-jew-related issues.
It used to anger me wneh called “African”. Not that am not proud of being me but the way it is said used to hurt me cause it sounded more like and insult than anything else. It used to puzzle me too. I mean, Mauritius is considered an african country and why when in a fight I’d be called “african”, I couldn’t comprehend. Now it makes me smile. The image the islanders here have of my african is so skewed and distorted by what the media chooses to show them that I pity them for having no idea what it’s like. That is in regard to where I come from. Because there is something else.
Mauriatian muslims are all indian descendants. I believe the narrow mindness make them think that all muslims hae long straight hair and have this asian complexion about them. Even today am still asked how I came to convert, as if I did! They’re amazed I speak arabic fluently. No use explaining that its because my mother is Sudanese.
No later than last week, thursday, the issue on the french show ça se discute was dieting, its dangers etc… I was tottally shocked to hear this 25 years old say that there’s this side called “pro anon” (pro anorexia) where they chat and write about how beautiful it is to have your bones sticking and jutting out! A mother whose daughter died at the young agae of 19 because she’d been dieting restrictively because she’d been called FAT at her work was sitting there and looking at this skinny skinny girl shaking her head, unable to talk!
I guess the point is not to fall into extremes.
Fitèna
So neil, tell us what’s really on your mind!
I remember elementary school and kids saying “JAP. She’s a JAP.” A Jewish American Princess. Not Japanese for us. Course I had no clue what that even meant then. Truthfully I still don’t.
As for weight – I look skinny, I weigh 130, I am healthy, and I get goaded all the time because I work out. “You’re so skinny, girl, what do you need to jog for? Here eat a donut.” But according to most BMI stats, I am overweight and should check myself into Eater’s Anon. right now.
What always gets me though is the hyper hypocritical Christains. The people who go to church every Sunday, in their best, and to luch right after. The people who pray and say love thy neighbor. And then go home, ignoring the homeless man on the corner, pushing lawsuits on their neighbor for a tree on the property line, molesting children, or making the rude comments about someone because they are Hispanic, Asian, Jewish, Arabic, Indian, Black… anyone different than them. That is why I quit being a Christian, if that’s what it was all about, then I don’t want to be that. I’d rather pray and praise my own way, stop and give my lunch to the homeless man, water the tree, and make new friends.
But that’s just my side.
Does your mom live in Forest Hills by chance? I grew up in a jewish neighborhood in Queens and know EVERYTHING ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS etc! even had a jewish boyfriend (though he was adopted by jewish, his biological parents weren’t) Anyway, what am I saying here? LOL…my parents are really into saying what prices are…it’s in the old generation’s blood.
Excellent post, and food (non-caloric even!) for thought.
Just like when I was younger and growing up in a Catholic family, there are stereotypes depending on the region. My weight now is healthy in Colorado, overweight in Los Angeles (yes, I even had someone tell me so) and “too skinny” in Georgia (yes, I had several people tell me so).
In these same states, coming from a Catholic family (though not a Catholic myself) I was either A) normal, B) going to have lots of children or C) odd because “those Catholics are too quiet in church.”
I think it has a lot to do with region. We are really good at building these silos when it comes to differences that no one really wants to talk about.
Excellent post, Neil! I think one of the biggest problems here is that people are absolutely terrified of standing out as “different” from the norm. And they should be, really, because people who sacrifice those 20 IQ points for a flawless body wouldn’t be able to get by on anything other than that body.
It seems, at times, that we’re trying to craft ourselves into a perfect nation… but there are some “flaws” in the way. We, as a whole, can’t change things like race, heritage, or orientation, so we strive to make sure everyone is fit and attractive. It should be easy, right? Smokers can just quit and fat people can just loose weight! What’s the big deal, right?
In my work I see many terribly overweight people. Good people. Smart people.
Just last week a young girl (17) came to my office complaining of knee pain. She was 5’4″ and weighed 385 pounds. When these folks come to see me, they all have the same guilty look on their faces. They are clearly anxious that I am going to “yell” at them for being fat.
Instead, I speak to them just as I would any patient. I discuss the risk factors for arthritis, one of which is carrying extra weight. “We put 6-10 times our body weight across our knee joint with each step,” I’ll say. “For you, that’s almost 4000 pounds per step. No wonder your knees hurt.”
Then I’ll go over their health history. High blood pressure? Early Diabetes? Problems with circulation? Asthma? All can be weight-related.
Then, I ask them how I can help them get rid of some of that weight. Some are in line for bariatric surgery (gastric bypass, which is a MAJOR surgery, for instance). These folks need to meet with nutritionists, surgeons and psychiatrists before being considred for those procedures. And the surgery is not without risk.
These folks don’t want to be fat. They don’t know how NOT to be fat. It’s amazing the relief that washes over their faces when they realize that their doctor can be an advocate.
I urge you all to make an extra effort to smile at or say something kind to an overweight person today. You’ll make their day and you might just make a good friend.
Namaste.
~HDJ
I’m sure there’s a post about atheism or mental health in this one, but I’m too tired to write it.
LOVE this post. Thank you.
Not much more to add, since it seems to have been said already.
Excellent insight Neil.
One of my co-workers threw a party last summer for her friends from work. Most of us brought boyfriends and guy friends. I found it extremely interesting that our intelligent, outgoing, fun and funny hostess was labeled as “not my type” by the single guys because she is “heavy” (yet well proportioned and beautiful). Instead, the men were all attracted to the skinny, tanned blonde girl (who, as much as I love her, had a constantly confused expression and kept trying to open her Coronas with the wrong end of the bottle opener).
It’s an interesting topic. In my experience there is certainly and obviously a correlation between fat people and all-you-can-eat restaurants. There is not, however, a correlation between all-you-can-eat restaurants and fat people. It’s a one-way correlation. Why? Because even though most fat people eat at all-you-can-eat restaurants, Chinese food is often all-you-can-eat but lots of Chinese people are starving.
There may also be a correlation between fat people and Walmart.
In North Texas, however, there is not a correlation between fat people and consumerism. It’s the little, skinny, pill-trading soccer moms (how’s that for hate speech) that drive SUVs and epitomize consumerism around here.
In the end, however, we can easily get rid of the fat people if we need to. Where are they going to hide? You’ve heard the expression “You can run but you can’t hide?” They can’t even run. As long as we stay far enough away that they can’t eat us, we can easily take them down.
(I are one, so I can joke like this.)
Hello, Neil.
Interesting post, Neil.
Splendid, dear. Our minds are in cahoots on this. Devil’s advocate I must always be, though. In defense of Mr. Folds’ lyrics, I think he was going for something a little more symbolic in his imagery. As a buxom size 14, I’m not offended by his words at all. I see them for what they are; a commentary on the gluttony that is prevelant in our American culture.
Still, I for one would rather err on the side of compassion. Living in OC, I know what it feels like to be in a room of size 2 women and wishing that I could just blend into the wallpaper. Most days, I dig being me, but every once in a while…..
I didn’t know what “Jew Down” was until I got older. When I was a kid and my grandfather would take me to a flea market where I would hear the term. I had no idea that it was defaming.
I could start a fight about the “Fat” thing. I used to be overweight until I learned that you could eat healthy foods and exercise. There is no excuse for not trying to eat/live healthy. But that is another subject.
This post made my lack of breakfast even more difficult.
I agree with that poll though. At this point in my life I think it would be easier to find a new job than lose 75 pounds.
Great post. What I think some people don’t realize is that it is WAY more expensive to eat healthy than it is to eat junk. I found that out when I had to change my diet for dialysis. Fresh food, vegetables, all more expensive than processed foods and quick meals.
And what’s with the giant portions?
Wow. I’m trying to figure out how to respond without stepping on a land mine.
Although you’ve done a wonderful job with some very touchy subjects here, Neil.
Good post Neil.
I work with girls in their late teens and it’s sad how many are developing eating disorders. I don’t like to get on a soapbox in class but I can’t help myself when we talk about biochemistry of the body- “carbhydrates are not evil!
I want to chant this 4 times an hour.
People forget, too, that some people have medical reasons for being overweight or underweight, like thyroid problems.
Also, I told my husband that I don’t like it when he uses the term “jew them down” but he says it’s a compliment.
If that’s what it means to Jew down, then everyone in my Chinese family does it too. Maybe we can just meld it all together to make it more convenient for bigots to insult a whole bunch more people at once. Chink down + Jew down = Jink down?
Awesome post.
as an overweight person, often feeling invisible or less than because of what i weigh, this post gives voice to many of my own thoughts. thank you for writing it.
“Isn’t it an easy target to use the fat Midwesterner as the symbol of the ugly American?”
I hate that. A fat white Midwesterner who shops at Wal-Mart is not — or at least, should not — be the symbol of America’s failings. They’re the regular people, and because they don’t fit an East/West coast aesthetic they are demonized.
I say we bring back the images of Robber Barons and the Fat Cats in Washington. Now that’s physical representation of … wait a minnit. “Fat Cat!” This fattist society goes waaay back, doesn’t it.
Hmmm. When I was growing up, I was the only one of my friends who was not Jewish or Catholic. I ended up learning about Yom Kippur and the Act of Contrition.
As far as the weight thing goes, I am probably one of those women who other women hate since I wear a size 2 or 4. When I go to visit my relatives in Virginia, they are always trying to get me to eat continuously. My grandmother and my aunt have been classified as morbidly obese by their doctors. They are family and I love them and I proudly go out in public with them. OK. They are partial to the all-you-can-eat buffets but I think that grandma has learned some moderation. I have also started just being blunt when she complains about how much her knees hurt. Of course, she used to be a nurse’s aide so how could she have not put it all together after all of these years?
Scary! I was just writing about the Fitness poll for a blog post coming up and I was ASTOUNDED by it – i could not believe how many people would prefer to be out of work than overweight. I had to read it twice. Great post, Neil
Neil, great post…but I’m fascinated by how much longer the comments are to this post than usual.
I have a daughter who’s overweight. We struggle everyday. She struggles to not yell at me and feel resentful when I ask if my ass is getting big. And I struggle not to yell at her when she chooses a cookie instead of an apple. she comes from a long line of overweight family members who are suffereing severe health problems now; sleep apnea, knee replacements, bone spurs, back problems, diabetes, etc.
I’ve never been overweight but I’ve been anorexic. Niether is fun but I still struggle to not juddge those who are overweight but I do abhore those who have little or no sympathy for someone struggling with their weight problem.
As for the Jewish thing. I came from poor white trailer trash. We were looked down on by the black, jewish and white population. We all have our thing.
Chantel,
A patient who is 5’4″ and weighs 330 lbs just walked out of my office. She has severe knee pain and already has pretty bad diabetes, high blood pressure and asthma.
Unlike one’s being black, white, jewish, or gay, being overweight holds the added stigma of being “a flaw of willpower.” From what I’ve seen, obesity is a slippery slope. People get fatter, then they get despondent and eat more, exercise less since it hurts more to do it. To break that cycle requires much more than to choose the apple. It’s a huge commitment. See for one man’s story.
Namaste.
~HDJ
Fat is definitely a topic that everyone wants to talk about, as shown by the number of comments here. But don’t forget to broaden your geographical reach. I hear all the time about how Americans are so fat…but Western Europe is not far behind, statistically speaking, and the obsession with being thin is just as big here as it is there.
if there is any “judging” to be done, should it not be determined by what lies in the heart and how it is outwardly manifested? big, small, skinny, fat… they’re all labels that i would just rather not use.
You’ve helped me realize something…I am prejudiced. I don’t judge people based on race, religion, or social class… but I do look “differently” at people who are extremely overweight. When I see somebody who is “fat,” I can imagine all the ways they “ended up” that way.
Now, I am 5’5″ and “about” 170…yes, overweight (obese by some standards). And, at one visit to a doctor–for severe knee pains–was told “I bet your mother is overweight, and I bet your grandmother is overweight, and YOU sure could stand to lose a few pounds.” So, I really can’t talk, but I am always comparing myself to others, asking hubby: “Is that girl BIGGER than me?” “does my butt look THAT big?”
I’ve never used racial or religious slang (I make a very CLEAR point of not doing this), but being from a hispanic family, I’ve heard bad-talk about other races/religions, and being from Mississippi, I’ve heard many racial slurs. My parents don’t talk like that, my siblings don’t, I don’t, and I will not allow my kids to talk like that! I have also been called many names (for being “white”, “hispanic”,
“southern”, “yankee”, etc) and I have just learned to let things go.
Anyways, thanks for helping me realize that my “judgements” (about weight) are just as wrong as all the others!
Isn’t that funny. You’re the 4th person today talking about weight. Must be something in the global winds.
I think most people look back at their old self and would call that person a humorless prig. Or is it just you and me?
Just the other day my dad was commenting how he couldn’t believe some of the teen girls he’s seen wearing shirts that show off their midriffs when they have spare tires.
Good for them, I say. It just felt like a sign that most of us (in the US anyway) are getting too unconsciously accustomed to a supremely skinny ideal for women.
I gotta say, I’m with Heather here, Neil. Ben Folds put that “fat” squarely in context to make his point. When that stops being permissable, we edge closer to the horrific P.C. weenieness of the 90s. Bleh.
Great post, btw. More of these, please.
On a side note, I hate when muscians become political, especially in their songs. It seriously irritates me, especially because they make way too simple: Americans are over consuming. (Guess what — if other people were given the opportunity they would do the same and do (ex. look at Great Britian).
Anyway, great post as usual.
i can remember the first time i ever heard of bigotry was when i was a kid, watching archie bunker. the states has different issues then in canada, “fat people” being one of them. i’m always in shock when we go on vacation in the states and eat out, normal sizes there are enoromous, how can anyone possibly eat or drink those amounts?
I disagree with you, Communicatrix! (Wow, was that exciting to say. I’m actually getting enough balls to disagree with her).
I don’t think the issue is about being P.C. In fact, I’m all about breaking taboos. Ben Folds went the easy way out by using the fat guy at the buffet as the symbol of American consumption. A braver choice would have been to sing about the young upper-middle class consumer who needs to buy the best iPod, big screen TV, and cool cellphone with video capacity! That to me symbolizes American overconsumption just as much as the guy shopping at the Kansas Walmart. But since that demographic is his audience, it would be way too P.C. for him to use those lyrics. Better to use the fat guy, who probably only listens to country music anyway.
Now I’m one of those who thought Stephen Colbert’s speech was somewhat rude, even if I agree with most of what he said. But I would consider him brave — not for attacking Bush — another easy target– but for attacking his supposed “peers” (other journalists who are too cozy with the administration) right to their faces.
The overconsumption thing is something that has been on my mind a lot recently. We complain (a lot) about our government, jobs, etc but really we live in place in history that is almost unique in it’s peace and prosperity. The fact that we can over eat is almost amazing in itself. We have been very fortunate, blessed, to live where and when we do.
Very interesting and insightful post Neil
I’m so glad I’m getting caught up on my blog reading today. Wonderful, thought-provoking post, Neil.
I’d never heard the expression “Jew down” until reading this, though I know plenty of stereotypes about Jewish people. I also had never heard JackT’s similar “chink down” expression (though the person who taught me the word “chink” is my best friend from Laos-haha).
I really enjoyed reading the comments to this post, too. Thanks for getting my mind turning. Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to get a blog post out of these thoughts, too!
Neil, I see your point. Actually, I saw it the FIRST time in your actual POST, b/c I am THE COMMUNICATRIX!
But I wasn’t as clear in my comment as I should have been (bad communicatrix!). I understand that he was using fat people at the all-u-can-eat buffet. I also understand that while fat people–or people who eat a lot, which is usually larger-sized people–are not the primary target of all U can eat restaurants. If they were, all U can eat places would go out of business. I suspect those places actually make their money off of people who *don’t* eat all they can, but like the idea that they can. In other words, we’re all big fat piggy-pigs when we start thinking about “mine!”
But that is a lot to get across in a song. And to be fair (to me, and to Ben Folds) the fat people thing is just a jumping-off place for talking about greedy Americans in general. I think you’re extrapolating by positing the fat-people-to-Wal*Mart dialectic; really, the first stanza generalizes about large people eating a lot at All U Can Eat buffets (which is true) and having oversize cars parked in the lot outside (which is not always true, of course, but given SUV and truck sales these days, probably truer than not).
Then the other stanzas address other solipsisms and inconsistencies in other groups of people. In fact, I think I got the finger once from a so-called peace-lovin’ mama in her ginormous Lexus behe-mo-bile. (Hey! That’s a good word for that, huh? “Be-he-mo-bile.”)
On top of everything else, how do you know he *didn’t* sit in some Waffle House down South (oooo…look at me generalizing!) and realize that it was filled with 90% fat people and then look at the lot outside at realize it was filled with 90% SUVs? Hell, I’ve had that experience at the (Oklahoma) State Fair.
This is my (more) long-winded way of saying I don’t think this is a song demonizing fat people. Of course, I’m thin, so I’m probably not allowed to say this.
But I couldn’t let you have the last word, because we all know how pushy women are…
Very thought-provoking, Neil. Let me say this as a person who has been on both sides of the weight-debate, having been overweight for the first 40 years of my life and now, due to health issues, underweight for the past 2: it’s a million times more bearable being too thin. Yes, there are still cruel, unbelievably rude and unthinking people who will make incredibly personal remarks right to my face about my appearance. It is still difficult to find age-appropriate clothing that fits well. But I would rather be as too-thin as I am now than what I was at my heaviest. The results of the poll you published do not surprise me at all. Thankfully, I would bet that, had they surveyed a much younger sample, the results would be markedly different. Judging by the way highschool girls dress where I teach, they are far less size-ist than their parents.
Communicatrix — Interesting that you mention the Waffle House! Now I know you don’t eat certain things anymore, but I’m sure you’ve been to Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles in Los Angeles, with those enormous portions. I used to go there ALL THE TIME before Sophia forced me to take cholesterol pills. I’ve seen a good number of pretty heavy black people there. They love those chicken and waffles! Let’s change the name of the song to “Eating at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles” and keep the exact same lyrics. Are they going to play it on KCRW?
Interesting point. No, only someone like Dave Chappelle could sing any song about black people and fried chicken.
Only a country artist can sing “Redneck Yaught Club”. Only Eminem can sing about being whitetrash. Only fat people can make fat jokes. You crossed the line, Folds.
Mmmm. Roscoe’s. And yes, only Dave Chappelle could get away with that song.
Oh and mmmm for the Waffle House. I am ashamed to admit that it is one of my first stops whenever I go to Virginia. Even grandma doesn’t go to the Waffle House.
I never thought about the fat vs. poor debate before. It is pretty sad that poor is glorified, but fat, unless it has a ph is not.:(
Great post, Neil. And I totally agree. I feel absolutely awful for people who are too thin AND too fat, actually. Before my sister-in-law got pregnant, she was one of those people who tried really hard to gain weight but just couldn’t do it — and often got, “anorexic!” whispers in public. I think people are too quick to assume that really thin people are crazy, vain anorexics and that overweight people are sloths. I’m not sure what the answer is, but the situation kind of sucks.
Suddenly, I’m craving an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Interesting point. I enjoyed reading it and the comments (but don’t have anything insightful to add, alas).
You forgot to mention that this demonizing applies only to women in America. Did you ever hear anyone call Donald Trump fat, or James Gandolfini, or Dr. Phil (who writes diet books!!!), or Jay Leno who very often makes fat jokes about female actresses?
I am a size 16-18, I exercise, I am very healthy, fairly attractive and happy with myself; when I am in Europe or South America, I’m flirted with all the time, but in this country – I’m faaaaat.
Whoa…I love the thought this has stirred in so many people! Having always fought being “big-boned”, I have finally arrived at a point where I’m considered thin. I got here by running a lot and eating healthier. To be honest…I wouldn’t trade being healthier, feeling lighter, not having to squeeze into clothes for any amount of money in the world. My brain cells…now that’s another story. I don’t think this makes me vain, I think I’ve come to like my body and enjoy it for the first time in my life.
Melinda — Sophia said the exact same thing about Dr. Phil — Who the hell is this guy giving diet advice? I lost total respect for the guy when he put his face on those “diet” chocolate bars that were later found out to be as caloric as a Hershey Bar. There’s an entire industry built around nonsense to get people thin.
Jules — That’s great that your new lifestyle has helped you to become healthier. The problem is if look at someone who is still overweight and view her as “wrong” or somehow lacking in discipline. I’ve been a tall, scrawny guy for most of my life (ok, the truth is I’m not as skinny as I used to be). I wouldn’t mind if some muscled guy in the gym told me that it’s great to get in better shape and become like him. I might even appreciate it. But I wouldn’t be very happy if he looked at me as an unworthy person, a weakling who deserves to get sand in my face at the beach. By the way, does anyone do that anymore? Does anyone remember those Charles Atlas comic book ads?