I have worn the same basic white underwear for most of my life: white Fruit of the Loom or Hanes briefs that I buy in a three-pack at Target. Sometimes, I might throw in some color, but not very often.
I never gave much thought to my underwear. I know my father always wore boxers, but I always assumed that those were “old man” type underwear. I figured that men’s underwear was mostly a practical piece of clothing, mostly to prevent your dick from getting caught in the zipper.
But lately, I’ve been noticing that my style briefs have a bad reputation, something that I had no idea about.
I recently saw an online quiz which revealed “What Your Skivvies Say About You.” My standard underwear got very poor reviews.
A Man who is wearing Tighty-Whities is telling the world: As far as maturity and mental development go, I peaked in the second grade. My idea of accomplishment is winning an internet flamewar. I can’t cook, and there’s a good chance my mother still does my laundry. Also, I couldn’t get laid if I walked into a whorehouse wrapped in treasury bills.
Wow! I”m a walking fashion emergency. And are they really known as ”tighty-whites?” How embarrassing!
Another online quiz asks –What kind of underwear do you wear?
Only 9% say they wear briefs. 9%!
That can’t be true. Who buys all those 3-packs at Target?
Just what I need. More things to angst over. Work. Relationships. Health. Now — my underwear.
So, dear readers, I need your advice. in order to perfect my Neilochka makeover, do I really need to throw out all my “tighty-whites?”
When I take off my pants — is this what a woman really wants to see on a sophisticated, well-dressed man?
No, but I’d have to ask if you always wore girl’s underoos.
I’m a boxers or boxer briefs kind of girl. Leave a little to my imagination – I have an incredible imagination.
If I knew you were wearing underwear like that, I would think, “Hey, I thought I was the only one.”
As for the boxer/briefs question: go for boxers. They’re much more comfortable, in my opinion.
As an experiment, I put on an old pair of boxers — and I put them on under my jeans. But they get all crunched up when you wear jeans — which I wear a lot. What is a man to do?
I have one problem here. You say that this is the “last step.” Well, Neil, that’s your first misstep. If you don’t change your habits and make this your “first step,” you’ll eventually show up at work looking like the little receptionist lady in Splash who wears her bra on the outside of her clothing. Better get cracking!
For me, I say go with the best of both worlds… boxer briefs. That’s what I do now that my wife (at the time, girlfriend) weened my off tight whities. Yes, they do call them by that name.
i love those boxers, you’ve got the abs for them, right?
both my husband and 14 year old son wear boxers. my son loves the ones from american eagle (can i say a brand name here?), they have funky colours and themes throughout the year. my husband is happy with whatever i buy and wash for him.
I’d vote boxers or boxer-briefs…but if you have trouble making the transition, boxer-briefs would probably be the best gateway underwear.
On the other hand, if you love tighty-whiteys most, maybe you own that distinction with pride…?
To be honest, Neil, I’ve never been with a guy who wore briefs, but I think boxer-briefs are HOT. Maybe if your boxers are getting scrunched up in your jeans it’s because your jeans are too tight. I say try boxer-briefs. It won’t be a hard transition.
I cannot keep my hands off The BF when he’s wearing those mid-thigh length Calvin Klein boxer briefs with the band at the leg. Can. Not.
Yeah, they cost more, but Macy’s has sales.
Seriously, dude. Action city. No lie. Tighty-whiteys? Shudder…
Sophia must be very forgiving. She never has mentioned this to me ONCE. I honestly thought most men wear these type of underwear. I never even gave it a second thought. I don’t think I have ever even heard the term boxer-briefs before this week.
Now, is the white socks and black dress shoes also a no-no?
(Note to friend Rob — are you reading this? Has your wife ever brought this up to you?)
I do have to agree that as a woman, I wear the sexier underwear more for myself than the guy looking at me. Not that it hurts when he so obviously appreciates it, but it really does make me feel sexier. And it’s just damn pretty. A suggestion for you however, I really feel that boxer-briefs or boxers are the way to go. It’s hard for me to look at a man in the tighties and think anything positive. It’s perhaps shallow and rude, but I can’t help what I’m not attracted to. Cheers!
Alecia — Maybe I’m finally understanding all those short guys who were complaining about being passed over because of their height. Are you actually saying that if you saw that I was wearing Fruit of the Loom white underwear that it would give you a negative vibe? As if I had my nipples pierced or something?
Tighty whities are just so wrong after high school – ew! Boxer briefs or boxers but not satin because that just screams “porn star wannabe”.
(Yikes, I don’t think I’d want to know what my readers thought of my undergarment choices, so you’re very brave.)
My vote: Go commando.
This baffles me too. I have only worn briefs (with the occasional boxer brief) and I don’t get why *some* women (happily not my wife) find them so distasteful. What’s the REASON, ladies? Why are boxers more appealing? I just don’t get it. I also have the same worry that boxers will bunch up and be uncomfortable. But to be honest, I think I wear white briefs simply because that’s what my mother first put on me in the early 60s and it never occurred to me to change. I guess I’ll have to be a fellow contestant on “Extreme Makeover: Bloggers Edition.”
My husband is a fan of boxer briefs; my teenaged sons like boxers. The bunching-up is not an issue for the sons because they wear their jeans fashionably baggy. But I will say that there hasn’t been a pair of *white* undies for a male around here in ages. Embrace color, Neil, regardless of whatever style you ultimately choose!
I used to enjoy the comfort and support of briefs, but was viciously shamed into switching to boxers by an ex-girlfriend who found my tighty-whiteys to be hysterical (not much of a confidence booster).
Since then, I’ve become accustomed to boxers and find them very comfortable… even in jeans. Something about “huddled masses yearning to be free”… or something like that.
Tighty-whiteys are just goofy looking to me, and I personally hate wearing white for just about any piece of clothing. I get tremendously annoyed when the only pack of underwear that has cool colors insists on having one white pair as well.
Go boxer briefs!
If you wear those don’t tell. Please don’t tell.
Go with the boxer brief option.
Watch wearing boxers, a medical friend of mine told me that it could hurt the boys in the long run because there is no support.
If I knew you were wearing those, I would wonder why you weren’t also wearing a cape and a mask and calling yourself Captain Neilochka.
You ever have the experience of feeling like you’ve been living under a rock? Am I officially a dork by not knowing the expression tighty-whitey? And commando? I’ll assume that is what we used to call “without underwear” in the old country? Never comfortable.
Definitely boxers or boxer briefs. I remember many conversations with girlfriends when we were in college about men and their underwear choices. I seem to remember that the mention tighty-whities (yes, we called them that) always sent into squeals of laughter. Sometimes even tears.
Oh, and guys have told me that if you want a really sensual experience, go for the silk boxers. Of course wearing them in public could be a bit embarrassing.
Ugh. There’s something that I find remarkably un-sexy about tightie-whities, but that’s just my personal preference. If you’re worried about boxers getting scrunched up – go with the boxer-brief – 400 times sexier, but not really scrunch-up-able.
Definitely boxers or boxer-briefs. Vanishing-R always went commando, which was rather sexy.
I have lots of gorgeous underwear, which I buy entirely selfishly (sad to say)
You might think that all these negative comments about my white underwear has gotten me down, broken my spirit, or made me feel insecure with the ladies. Never. I know women too well. No matter what the crime, there is always a way back into a woman’s heart. That’s why flowers were invented. And look at all the total dorks that have beautiful women at their side. Let me show you how to woo a woman in the bedroom, even in ridiculous underwear.
Men, take notes as a professional is at work here.
Scene: Neilochka’s bedroom
Neil is with some hot brunette he met at Barnes and Noble while he was reading David Sedaris. Neil takes off his pants.
Girl: Oh my God.
Neil: Why, thank you.
Girl: Not that. It’s those tighty-whities. You look like someone whose mother still does his laundry. I’m squealing with laughter. Wait until I tell all my girlfriends about this and we laugh hysterically.
Neil: I’m hoping you do tell your girlfriends, because I want everyone to hear the message I’m sending. You see, I choose to wear these white underwear because white is the symbol of peace, like the dove. I wear white underwear to remind myself that we have so much further to go in this world. Look what’s going on in the Middle East. One day, I hope to see a world without war or hatred or strife. And we can all live like one people. One day, I know that white dove will fly. But for now, I wear my white underwear as a reminder of this more perfect world. So, tell your friends. Tell everyone!
Girl: Oh, Neil, I think I’m going to have an orgasm just listening to you. Where have you been all my life? Fuck me right now. And keep those white underwear on.
Definitely go for the boxer briefs Neil. My guy wears them and they’re functional AND sexy. And BTW..not all thongs are uncomfortable. I swear by them!
Neil, you should have come to me first! I did The Research and The Verdict!
Neil ~ why not go for the best of both worlds and get some boxer briefs? They look sexy, and they also look quite comfortable!
Do you actually use our advice? If so I vote for boxer briefs. Tightie-whities and speedoes – not a good look.
Personally, I am a fan of boxer-briefs especially in colors.
Depends.
Boxer Briefs. It’s the “in” thing now.
And I say it’s all in how a man wears his undies. I dated a guy who wore tightie whities and he was sexy as all get-out in them.
Underwear is a matter of taste. I’m not licking your undies.
Boxer-briefs, all the way. But not the kind with a tuxedo on them.
Or if you could find a pair like the all-American ones, but with the Canadian flag on them instead, I’d be all over that. I loves me some Canadians.
Definitely go with the boxer briefs… so so so sexy!!!
First, to start out positively, yay for you for updating your look! I bet you’re super hot now.
Second, I’ve never met a woman who dug tightie-whities (and yes, we call them that). I also think of these as underwear for either little boys or grandpas. Real men wear boxers or boxer briefs.
If you show me your new underpants, I might show you something in return…
Sophia’s never bought you underwear, then, that’s clear. And it was just Valentine’s Day… are you sure she’s not a figment of your imagination?
Maybe she’s like you. The point is to get the man out of the underwear. Who cares if he’s wearing tighty whiteys?
OK, I tried to make that sound convincing, but no go.
OMG!!! NO NO NO to the tighty-whiteys.
i love a guy that is commando in button fly jeans. nothing sexier!!!
but if that is not an option… then boxers.
but definately no Tighty-whiteys
aww, geez – mental images I now cannot get out of my head!
It depends. I think boxers are fashionable nowadays. I hate this fashion. It consists of wearing you pants low. Your briefs gotta show. All the guys I know are weraing Calvin Klein boxers (fake bought by the dozen). And they have this very doubtful color. As long as whatever you wera is clean and you’re comfortable in it….
Fitèna
Brief for outdoor activities
Boxer for home & bedtime
Definitely boxer is more appealing
I make no recommedations – I speak only for myself. I cannot wear “tighty-whities” for 3 reasons: 1) the term “tighty-whities”; 2) the way I, a skinny man, look in them; 3) perhaps most important – they make my genitals feels as if they’re bound in duct tape.
I choose boxers. (Years ago I went sans-drawers until, as you mentioned, I actually did get my penis caught in my zipper. Mother of God! THAT is a moment, I’ll tell you.)
http://www.davidtoc.com/ck/ckad.cfm?Ad_ID=30
Timeless elegance (preferred in grey by guys, don’t ask)
Boxers are hot. Of course, whatever makes you feel sexy should be your first choice.
definately something in a leopard print – to bring out your eyes!
Neil, who cares which underwear you wear. You know what they say…it’s not the type of underwear a man wears that matters…it’s the size.
lol, white socks and dress shoes. my 14 year old son tried to wear that combination for his grade 8 graduation, didn’t work, he didn’t make it past the front door. the things that men need to be taught.
“My goal is to get the woman out of her underwear. Why should I care what underwear she’s wearing?”
Amen, brother! replace “woman” with “man,” “her” with “his” and “she” with “he,” and you’ve got my opinion on that one.
Boxers or boxer-briefs are cool these days. Tighty-whiteys are now considered old man underwear.
Wow, those pictures are something else. I’m tempted to buy the tuxedo ones for S just to see the look on his face, lol.
I’m a boxers girl myself, but I’m not averse to briefs as a rule. I think it depends on the ass inside said boxers or briefs.
Im trying to think of something to send you for the carnival of the mundane, but my whole blog is so mundane it’s hard to choose, lol.