Blogger’s Fashion Emergency

I know many of you wonder what it would be like to meet me.  I know you visualize me as someone ultra-sophisticated and artistic-looking, a cross between George Clooney and Bono.  But I have a feeling that when you finally meet me, your first thought will be, "Gee, Neilochka dresses really bad."

I know this is a shock to you:

I have very little fashion sense. 

I went from being dressed by my mother as a child, to dressing myself shitty in black "Queen" concert t-shirts as a teenager, to being dressed by Sophia, back to dressing myself shitty again.

Here is my current uniform:

My father wasn’t a very good dresser, either, but at least he wore a shirt and tie everywhere.  And I mean EVERYWHERE, even to the beach.  We once had to leave this touristy "Cowboy" steak restaurant in Tucson because there was a sign reading "No ties allowed.  We will cut them in half."  And there was an actual guy with scissors standing at the front door. 

We ate at the Olive Garden instead.

DING DONG. 

"Oh, it’s the door.  What is this?   Danny?  Akaky?  Melissa?  Helen from Malaysia?  Is this a Blogger’s Fashion Emergency?  Sophia, did you set this up?

Where are you all going?  Into my closet?  You’re not throwing out all my clothes, are you? Not the Queen t-shirt!  I know it’s too small.  But isn’t that bearing-midriff style fashionable now?  And That’s Freddy Mercury on the back of the shirt.  The "Bohemian Rhapsody" guy.  I can sell that shirt on E-bay!"

In honor of New York’s Fashion Week, I am going to transform myself into a stylish man this weekend.. 

For my makeover, which of these fashionable looks do you most prefer?

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

6)

My hair is also a mess.

Which hairstyle would work best for me?

1)

2)

3)

4)

5)

6)

Thanks in advance!  I know I can always depend on my readers for good advice.

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