Dear Chinese People,
For most of my life, your fine Chinese cuisine has been there for me. No matter where I went, I always found the comfort of your Kung Pao chicken and Hunan Beef. I’ve feasted in some of your fancier establishments. I’ve slurped down your food in your cheaper ones. I’ve enjoyed your $4.99 lunch specials that come with wonton soup and eggroll. I’ve frequently answered my door to find your smiling delivery man standing there with outstretched arms.
I love you, Chinese food. You have been my favorite for as long as I remember. I used to dream about you and your lo mein.
But lately, I feel as if we’ve grown apart. Although I still enjoy our dates, I feel unfulfilled with your sauces. Your old standards seem a bit boring. I’ve tried every dish on your menu. Every combination platter. And my eyes have begun to wander.
Last night, I was hungry, so I drove to my local restaurant, "Hunan Cafe." But as I was about to pull into the parking lot, I could smell something sensual drawing me elsewhere — to "Chili Thai House" across the street.
I know this is hard to hear, but over the past year, I’ve found myself thinking more and more about your two beautiful cousins — Japanese food and Thai food. While I love your Chinese "earthiness," there is a certain elegance to these other cuisines that you seem to lack. I ’m not sure I even think of you as my "favorite" anymore. At night, rather than dream about lo mein, I dream about the slender curves of the sashimi at "Tokyo Fish."
I’ve tried to keep our relationship going. My Jewish family is much more comfortable with me going out to be with you than with these more "exotic" Asians. I’ve tried to add spice to our relationship by doing it in different ways — Cantonese, Hunan, and Szechuan. I’ve even gone to Chinatown to eat in restaurants that cater to real Chinese customers, but some of those weird-looking dishes were just too kinky for me.
Sometimes, we need to —
"Let go of the past and be grateful for what we had."
I read that on a fortune cookie from a Chinese Restaurant in Sacramento. And the cookie is very wise. We both need to learn from our experiences and move on.
You will never be lonely. Everyone loves you. And so do I — just not the same way as I used to. I wish you all the happiness in the world. In fact, Double Happiness. Although I am currently very attracted to the gentle allure of sushi and the complexity of Tum Kha Gai, I will always remember you as my first love.
Forever yours,
Neil
Ah yes. We know now to take you for good wine and good Thai should you ever come to DC.
My favorite restaurant was a kick-ass Chinese buffet. It changed hands several months ago and they tweaked all the food just enough that I don’t care for it anymore. Makes me sad.
Also, how nice that your blog has double spaces between sentences! Blogger edits all of mine out. Grrr.
Chinese food will be there when you miss it and come crawling back someday. You’ll see.
I haven’t eaten Chinese food since I lived in China for 6 months. It was a traumatic ordeal.
But Thai,
Oh the wonders of Thai. How can you resist a love affair with Thai cusine? I say go for it. Its wrong but you’ll be much happier. Not to mention the old adage set it free if you come back than you belong to me..
I set you free love, I set you free
Sincerely,
Chinese in Austin
Mmmm…Chinese food…AKA my crack addiction, only better-tasting.
I do have to admit, though, that I have been frequenting the neighborhood Thai restaurant lately because it’s closer than the Chinese one…
Wow, wot a long long line of comments! Say , have u been to HK or China… you have not tasted the real deal till ya there, gotta eat what the locals are eating, not the McD version of it. Peace!
The only Chinese food I’ll eat is Szechuan. I’ve never been a fan of Cantonese. Thai is my favorite though.
i am feeling the need to get a bit of chinese food and dive in – something hot and spicy.
i guess that’ll make me the rebound girlfriend… again.
JoeC — I have been to Hong Kong — some of the best (and scariest) Chinese food this American boy ever saw.
Made me hungry. Need to find a chinese food place that has food after 11pm. Must have fortune cookies too…..
I can identify with your inner turmoil but I’ve learned that it’s all about the food harem.
I mean, as much as I looooove sushi (Nozawa is my BOY) and as the song goes, “one night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster,” I could never totally abandon faithful Chinese. Nor should you. Because maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but someday soon you’ll get that craving. That burning desire.
So go ahead and take a break, tell all your friends you’re just spending some time apart. But know that the day will come when you will come crawling back. And Chinese will welcome you back with open chopsticks.
I just had Pho for lunch. It was fabulous… is Vietnamese food the *new* Chinese?
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