Jessica Alba Sex Video Revealed!

(Dave Matthews’ "Crash" plays in the background)
Jessica: Take me, Bead Necklace…
Bead Necklace: I love when you touch me… there.

Jessica: You certainly are BIG… Bead Necklace.
Bead Necklace: I’m sorry my loft is such a mess.
Jessica: Your place could use a makeover, Bead Necklace. Like actually putting your door on its hinges. But you are so hot.

Jessica: I love the way you caress me, Bead Necklace…
Bead Necklace: Shhh… don’t talk…

Jessica: That was amazing, Bead Necklace. You really know how to satisfy a woman.
Bead Necklace: You mind if I go outside for a smoke?
Jessica: You’re not going to keep that videotape of our lovemaking, are you, Bead Necklace?
Bead Necklace: (LAUGHING) Of course not.
(via Jessica Alba in Entertainment Weekly)
Tags: celebrity, Jessica Alba, photo shoots



19 Comments so far
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I gotta get me a Bead Necklace.
By Pants on 09.13.05 12:57 pm
$&@# lucky bead necklace.
By Michael on 09.13.05 12:59 pm
honey, why does that bead necklace you bought me smell like colon?
By brando on 09.13.05 1:09 pm
beaded neacklace, huh?
Guess it’s more tasteful than pearl necklace.
By anonymous city girl on 09.13.05 1:34 pm
FINALLY!…a use for that puka shell necklace.
By cruisin-mom on 09.13.05 2:29 pm
Brilliant. And I want the bead necklace’s loft. Lots of potential, I’m sure.
By Anne on 09.13.05 2:50 pm
ok, i’ll give her credit for being hot. she’s a good looking woman. no question. but the fondling of the necklace- did she not feel like a complete ass during that photo shoot? and why in the hell is she in a pretend dirty alley? that’s just stupid.
By ms. sizzle on 09.13.05 3:06 pm
Ladies, just for accuracy, is it a Bead Necklace or a Beaded Neckace?
By Neil on 09.13.05 3:26 pm
Hey Neil…it’s got to be “beaded”. The necklace (wire, string, whatever) is beaded with beads!
By cruisin-mom on 09.13.05 4:28 pm
Huge beads, long necklace…
By Leese on 09.13.05 4:33 pm
Cruisin’, so as not to insult my female audience, would I be correct in changing everything to Beaded Necklace?
By Neil on 09.13.05 4:38 pm
shameless…utterly shameless
By meme on 09.13.05 4:43 pm
no need to be anal Neil…your female audience is in love with you no matter what you do
By cruisin-mom on 09.13.05 4:43 pm
Accessories are the new dysfunctional relationship.
Thanks for stopping by today.
By miss marisol on 09.13.05 4:57 pm
Neil, this post was so hot I had to leave my cubicle and take my bead necklace into the bathroom.
By hope on 09.14.05 7:58 am
I still never got my answer — keep it at Bead Necklace or change it to Beaded Necklace? Aren’t there any fashionistas out there besides myself?
By Neil on 09.14.05 1:00 pm
I think it should be the BADASS beaded necklace!
And, can I say, you are the blog MACHINE, Neil! I haven’t been gone that long, and you have so many posts for me to catch up on! Where is all this creativity coming from???
By Modigli on 09.14.05 3:05 pm
I’m proud of you Neil. It took me forever to figure out that gratuitous pictures of hot women=more site traffic.
By psychotoddler on 09.15.05 4:49 pm
хуйня
By gost on 03.28.07 2:34 am
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